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Church of the LOTRO Almighty: **

Affirmations of Faith

 

Those of you who love LOTR / Lord of the Rings......and visit (aka play) LOTRO frequently, may decide to become members instead of just visitors to the "church" of LOTRO. Being a member isn't just playing or roleplaying the game, it's immersing yourself in the lands, the lore and the experiences. LOTRO isn't just a game, it can be a "religion" for some and a "religious experience" for others. Noobs, old-timers and born-agains are welcomed with open arms in the church of LOTRO.

 

If you're a member or would like to be one, you hold certain beliefs. Want to affirm your faith in the Middle Earth lands of LOTRO? Believe......and affirm your own faith in Middle Earth as you read below:

 

We believe in the one ring,

the one LOTRO,

the one to rule them all!

 

 

We believe in the Frodo, almighty,

ring bearer (without a wedding)...hobbit...friend.

 

 

We believe in Gandalf,

wizard...protector...pipeweed smoker.

 

 

We believe in Elrond,

elf...wiseman...friend of the free.

 

 

We believe in Strider...Aragorn,

from Isildur, descended,

son of Arathorn,

heir, leader, silent, strong.

 

 

We believe in the fair Arwen,

mortal beauty of immortal descent,

beloved of Aragorn, begotten of Elrond.

 

 

We believe in the Shire,

home of the famed hobbit 2nd breakfast.

We believe in Rivendell,

and in elf ears that are always easily lent.

We believe in the Trollshaws,

and in androgynous dwarves who never tell.

 

 

We believe in Middle Earth,

We believe in quests, in fellowships

and in swift travel on horseback.

 

 

We believe in LOTRO,

XP and entertainment as only Middle Earth can provide.

We believe the devs are masterminds,

even if it seems sometimes

it's not our minds they've mastered, nor their own.

 

 

We believe even JRR Tolkien was slightly imperfect

or hobbit feet wouldn't be so hairy.

 

 

We believe the devs are our saviors,

having saved us from the trials of reality,

immersing us in those of a virtual realm

originally created by the hands and mind of JRR Tolkien,

our lord, our "God."

 

 

We believe in Lord of the Rings,

in sequels, trilogies and Middle Earth memorabilia.

But most of all,

we, the beings ---

we the elves, dwarves, hobbits and humans ---

believe in Lord of the Rings Online!

 

 

May the good Tolkien bless and keep us all subscribed

and may he watch over the one ring

until its final destiny is reached through the hands of fate!

 

 

Now, go forth and multiply...

quests, kills, deeds, levels,

fellowships

and friendships!

 

 

- - - PLEASE NOTE - - -

 

Services for the church of LOTRO are held regularly

at all hours of the day and night,

regardless of your timezone.

 

Sermons optional. Ear plugs recommended.

Prayers not required,

but recommended in dire situations

as you hope (and "pray") not to die

to your "prey."

 

Just show up in your everyday armor,

weapon in hand.

 

No subscriber in good standing shall be denied

his or her rights to worship in the church of LOTRO!

 

 

 

 

**Earnote: These pages (along with much of the Lick an Ear website itself) are indeed intended for amusement only. The "church" of LOTRO is not a real religion, nor is it intended as a serious religion! So, please, if you have a religion or take religion seriously, take no offense. The "church" of LOTRO is just a silly, satirical spoof, take or parody of what can be a religious experience...in a virtual realm MMORPG sort of way. Enjoy the humor...and believe in Middle Earth!

 

 

Church of LOTRO index

|   Affirm Faith    Fellowship Club   |   Sermons   |   Prayers    Hymns   |

 

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