Lick an Ear: Onyx's Guide to Insanity . . . . enhancing verbal neurons the natural way!

 

|   Home   |   World on My Terms   |   Spotlight   |   Pocket Philosopher   |   O...racle!   |   Corrupted Coffee   |   Fragments of the Subconscious   |   Lick's Picks   |   Links   |   ** New **   |

Middle Earth Residential News Services: The Classifieds

Shopidex

 

Real Estate   -   Auctions / Bankruptcies   -   Items for Sale

 

REAL ESTATE

For sale: Fornost. 500 gold or BO. Fornost dungeon is an undervalued fixer-upper in a low-rent neighborhood. Part halfway home / part psychiatric ward, this place is so huge you'll get lost in your own private instance! Some tenants may exhibit aggressive and abusive behaviors. Security or back-up recommended. Open house all day every day. Must provide proof of life insurance policy to gain admittance. Policy must be current. You could be living in this dungeon without having to be declared a felon or having to feign insanity!

Foreclosure sale: Brigand Headquarters. Occupant-ready / immediate possession an option. Get out of the hustle bustle of Bree and enjoy this prime location in the country! Located near Combe, this is a great getaway. Just ask the Brigands, whose illegal activities and loan defaulting caused foreclosure on their property. Inquire at the Vault of Bree about this sprawling commercial realty/warehouse space at unbelievable third age pricing!

 

Lot and property for sale. Horse ranch and fields. Avoid the traffic, noise and pesky armor salesmen. Enjoy acres of privacy and serene country living! Located north of Bree, we're an easy horse ride away! Race track on premises could be a potential gold-mine for the right owner wishing to capitalize on gambling. Horses not included but available, negotiable.

Rooms for rent. Forsaken Inn of the Lone Lands. Rent by the week, day or...hour! Continental breakfast. Room service extra. Inn tavern open 24 hours a day. Horse rides/rentals nearby. (Due to their unlawful activity and suspected violent acts of terrorism, we are no longer able to rent rooms to goblins. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.)

Misty Mountains for sale. Think you own the land, the creatures on it and the ore nodes? Well, now you can...for real! No more node-stealing or jumping. No more camping. Buy the Misty Mountains and everything in it is yours. Inquire within the MM for further details. Realtors are standing by to answer your questions.

 

AUCTIONS / BANKRUPTCIES

Kinship leader bankrupt. Everything, including kinship, must go! No reasonable offers refused. Followers, mounts, rings, craban eyes, beryl shards, entire closet full of shoes of fleetness, etc. All must go! Auction begins 9am Central. Bree auction hall.

Rare, legendary books for auction. Limited edition books of extraordinary value. Some pages worn and/or missing, but we can help direct you as to where to find them. Even without those 8 pages, these books are truly legendary and highly coveted. Peruse our inventory for your interests and needs. Some legendaries more "legendary" than others. (Hunters advised to beg, borrow and have your Burglar friends steal for you so you can afford that set of three books you've been eyeing.)

Complete shard collection up for auction. Owner interested in liquidating assets for early retirement. Large quantity and variety of "like new"/never used shards. Must see to believe! Ruby, sapphire, adamant and beryl shards. Bid on singles, sets and packaged deals!

 

Make an offer! Auctioning all my loot, my first 2 unborn children, 10 boar-stomachs I have yet to get and the heads of 250 orcs on a silver platter. Plz take a look! I'm 38 and still can't afford to purchase a horse. Buy my stuff so my friends won't laugh at me limping slowly behind them every time I injure myself from following their horses down hills.

Complete Kits/Sets for Level 45 Class Quests.** Everything your hunter, minstrel, lore-master, champion, captain, guardian or burglar needs to complete your level 45 class quests. We have all your items in one completed set! Many sets available. Silent auction begins at high noon in Archet just outside the jail. Serious bidders only. Cash only. No credit. No COD.

Bankrupt farmer liquidating estate, all assets included. Berries. Seeds of all kinds. Winter Wheat. Straw. Blackberry Honey. Taters. Carrots. Common Mushrooms. Yellow Onions. Green Onions. Soil of Rivendell. Farming tools. And that's just for starters! Bankruptcy auction commences on Sunday at 1:45pm Central in the trade channel.

 

ITEMS FOR SALE

Engagement ring. The only ring your girlfriend will want! This ring rules! Need to sell ASAP to afford armor repairs and bi-weekly foot waxing. Hard to part with this beauty, but for the right price, it can be yours! 1,000 Gold or Best Offer. Get "the one" ring now before the Nazgul beat you to it! As an added bonus, I will throw in a pet Gollum with your purchase. To inquire, go to The Party Tree in the Shire, order a round and ask for Frodo.

Farmers market...selling all brands of pipeweed along with various berries, taters, cabbage, onions, carrots and other organic foods. Every Friday thru Sunday 9am-3pm Eastern. Come early! The early birds or gore-crows get the rare onion skins and juicy berries!

"Garage sale." Friday-Sunday. Open all day and night to accommodate all time zones. Lots of collectibles, junk, questionable items and nostalgia. Hateful worm eyes, beryl, adamant, putrid fingernails, barbed barghest tails, weapons, armor, variety of ores and ingots, Helchgam's putrid slime and lots more! Peruse our kinship's junk for your treasures. Some disgusting, distasteful but useful items at low bargain pricing!

 

Bake sale / fundraiser. Lembas, superior coney pie, blueberry muffins, spiced apple pie, superior ultimate carrot cake and more! Donations will be used to pay off the ale tabs of the hobbits who have already vied for Tavern League Membership. Cakewalk and raffle immediately to follow bake sale.

Scholars...camp no more! Be the brightest and best! Come to the Scholar Emporium today. See our ad here.

Ore, Ingots and more! One free coal with every 10 tier 3+ ore purchased at participating retailers. Sienna, umber, copper salts and ancient iron oxides also available. Prices may vary upon availability. Cash only. No credit cards. No bartering. Highest quality items around. We take pride that absolutely NONE of our items were harvested by node stealers! It may cost you extra, but you'll know you're paying for quality items from quality people. We are not a discount outlet or slightly damaged goods retailer. Mixed grab bags available. Great for door prizes and kinship loyalty reward packages! See the trade channel for further details, or stop in at your local auction house retailer today! Don't miss these great bargains!

 

 

**Earnote: It's a nice pipe-dream, isn't it?

 

 

Back to Classidex

|   Want more off-beat gaming humor from The LotrOnyx Files? Click here!   |

|   Home   |   World on My Terms   |   Spotlight   |   Pocket Philosopher   |   O...racle!   |   Corrupted Coffee   |   Fragments of the Subconscious   |   Lick's Picks   |   Links   |

Copyright © 2006-2008 lickanear.com & . All Rights Reserved.               Legal Disclaimer & Terms of Use