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The Signs / The Symptoms

Hobbit Identification

 

You may already be a hobbit...but how does one know for sure?

Whether you're concerned about you, those you know or others you don't, there are many signs and symptoms to help you positively identify and diagnose suspected hobbits.**

Don't be caught unaware. Know the signs!

Suspected hobbits may exhibit a number

of the following signs and symptoms:

 

You realize your feet are so hairy that they look like Tribbles from Star Trek.

 

You received a call trying to convince you to shave your feet so you could donate to The Hair Club for Men.

 

You’re at an amusement park and realize you’re not tall enough to ride anything, other than the “kiddie” rides...and you're not even tall enough for some of those!

 

When running, walking or jogging up a hill, all you see in front of you are blades of grass, unless you tilt your head skyward.

 

When you see your friends and neighbors playing racquetball, you realize they're playing it off of a street curb...and you realize you can, too!

 

At a restaurant, you're always asked if you want a booster seat or high chair...even though you haven't been a toddler for quite some time!

 

Whenever size comes into question, you're the one that feels the need to reiterate": "It's not the size that matters!"

 

You look up to...most 8-year-olds, and even some 4- and 5-year-olds. Literally!

 

You got a new ring, and the first question you were asked is: "Is that the one ring to rule them all?!"

Note: And there's no question of your hobbit status, if that is followed up by the following exclamation: "My preciousssss!!!!"

or if...you absolutely refuse to take the ring off to let a friend admire it or try it on, even for just a moment or two.

 

For you, one breakfast is never enough. There's always at least a first and a second breakfast, if not three or more of every dining event throughout the day!

 

If you or others you know suffer the above signs, symptoms or related conditions indicative of other-worldly hobbits, remember, there is hope!

It's called LOTRO, and you can find support in each other by finding your way to Lord of the Rings Online. There are many hobbits, whether on Earth or in "Middle Earth," but only one LOTRO MMORPG to "support" them all!

For those of you who've already found

your way to LOTRO,

welcome to Hobbit Anon.

Hi, my name is Onyx,*** and I'm a hobbit......

 

 

**Earnote: Though there is no known cure at this time, you will find many a support group out there. Some are more organized groups known as kinships and fellowships. However, you may also find many loners out there merely roaming the lands of LOTRO (Lord of the Rings Online). And though some may realize they or others know they're hobbits, they're just not quite ready to publicly admit to their condition. (Of course, some are still trying to masquerade as elves, dwarves or humans.)

 

***Earnote: Name has been changed in order to protect hobbit identity.

 

 

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