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My LOTROniac Sign is Guardian!

Guardian...the Hard Biscuit

 

Your symbol: Hard Biscuits

 

Solid, hearty, tough and nearly indestructible!

When you hear someone say "fools rush in," you smile broadly, knowing that fool is you.

Fearlessly rushing into battle, head first --- even if you might have forgotten you're not wearing a helmet, since you accidentally sold it two minutes ago --- you are often secretly referred to as a "big, dumb ox." Even if you hear the rumors of that alleged name-calling, you take it, because you know it's partially true. However, you also know there's a lot more to you than just the unthinking meat-shield for which you are both mocked and praised in equal parts. And you're not really offended anyway, knowing you win more battles than you lose!

You fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. You're willing to "butt heads" with anyone and will bang your head or fist against a brick wall for as long as it takes to achieve success on the battlefield as well as in the boardroom, at the bar or in a private squabble with your very own kin.

You are at your happiest in the darkest frays of a grueling battle. Where others far weaker than you would quiver, shake and likely pee their leggings in fear and trepidation, you trudge on --- head first, shoulders forward, knees never buckling.

Guardians love combat in all forms, though you prefer the physical, as you are much stronger physically than mentally. You would rather work out your issues and disagreements in combat, than through rational discussion or mediation. The more aggressive the adversary, the better --- as you can always respect a worthy opponent, even as your adrenaline runs wild and that murderous look fills your crazy, blood-shot eyes.

Even if you can or could dual-wield, you prefer to carry a shield. After all, if you're in a fellowship, there are many weaklings counting on you as their meat-shield, so the more armor protection you have, the more aggro you can take...and give out, surviving as your adversaries fall, one by one.

Generally, Guardians do not speak much, preferring to let their actions speak, instead of words from an often concussed mind. If you do speak, you are likely taunting your enemies or groaning incoherently from serious injuries that no amount of armor could prevent.

Off the battlefield, you live equally as "loud." You drink heavily. You gamble heavily. You are not afraid to throw punches in a bar brawl if you see someone, especially of the opposite sex, being harassed or mistreated by bullies and miscreants. Due to your hulky build and tough, leathery appearance --- on first impression --- people may view you as a threat even when you are only wishing to make their acquaintance or befriend them. Once you open up to them, they will see you for the soft-hearted, caring Guardian you tend to shield from the rest of Middle Earth.

Granted, initially opening up to someone may be particularly difficult for you, but those lucky enough to see inside that heavy armor you wear everywhere, are glad you trust in them enough to share that hidden aspect of you. Despite your beliefs, not everyone is really out to get a piece of you. Some just want to get "you" or even just get to know you a little bit more beyond the tough-guy or tough-gal exterior.

In your spare time, Guardians enjoy torturing small animals and flies, as well as boars, bears and aggressive elk. This helps you release aggression from your feelings of always being the victim or target, even as you protect others. You also enjoy breaking a few rules on occasion when you think no one else is watching. (Hey, even Guardians have their vices, after all!)

 

Guardian Strengths:

Guarding / Protecting

 

Courage / Bravery

 

Battlefield Wits

 

Endurance

 

Morale

Guardian Weaknesses:

Social Situations

 

Tea Parties

 

Finer Points of Etiquette

 

Diplomacy

 

Inability to Resist Challenge or Fight (no matter how bad the odds)

 

A Guardian may specialize in offense or defense:

The Offensive Guardian is often known to exhibit a higher level of Tolerance and Determination, as well as Valour, Mercy...and believe it or not...even Innocence!

The Defensive Guardian shares an interest in Innocence, Valour and Discipline, but likely trades the other two virtues for greater Fortitude and Zeal.

 

Primary health concerns of Guardians:

Due to your love of "tanking," your whole body is a health concern, even with the heaviest of armor on at all times! Your head, though, suffers the greatest damage, so don't forget to wear a helmet at all times...even in towns and especially whenever riding your horse.

As a Guardian, you have already suffered a substantial amount of brain trauma, and the doctors aren't sure how much more you can take before that concussed blank stare becomes permanent (freezing that way, just as your mother told you it would)!

 

Occupations that Guardians excel at include:

Bouncer

 

Body Guard

 

Bridge Troll

 

Bodybuilder

Professional Wrestler

 

Professional Boxer

 

Ultimate / Mixed Martial Arts Fighter

Daredevil

 

Orc

 

Stuntman / Stuntwoman

 

Gore-Crow Lookout

Personal Assistant to high-maintenance celebrities

Monster-like Superhero

Banker

 

 

The "famed" who exhibit Guardian characteristics include:

The Thing (Fantastic Four)

 

Laila Ali (boxer)

 

Keeper Brombard Foxtail

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Incredible Hulk

 

John Cena (wrestler)

 

Beatrix Kiddo / Black Mamba (Kill Bill movies)

Mike Tyson (boxer)

 

Evel Knievel

 

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Bull (in Night Court)

James Dalton (bouncer, Road House)

Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)

 

 

Compatability:

Lore-masters, Champions and Minstrels are a Guardian's best choices for finding fellowship, love, romance and success on and off the battlefield!

 

A Guardian is least likely suited for pairing with another Guardian, even if one prefers offense, while the other is on defense. See how the two would clash?!

 

 

Gemstone: Black Onyx / Jet

Flower/Plant: Cactus

Color: Red

Oil/Essence: Dragon's Blood

 

 

 

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