The stone ages of Middle Earth...
The Movies That Could've Been
The inhabitants of Middle Earth may not
have had "moving pictures" or movies in their day, but if they had...just
think of the movies that could've come from the Lord of the Rings
Hollywood wannabes:
You, Me and Samwise
Gamgee
A newlywed couple offers to
take in their friend, Samwise Gamgee, for what they think will be
just a few short days. But as the days pass, they realize lovable but lazy
Samwise isn't looking for a job or doing anything else but drinking
their ale, smoking pipeweed and shaving his feet, leaving hair all over
their bathroom floor. How long can they survive before they're forced to
boot Samwise off their "island"?!
Thank You for Gold Farming
The controversial satirical hit
about the evil empires of gold farmers and the lobbyists who've promoted
gold farming!
Run Lalia Run
A fellowship happens upon a
helpless girl (Lalia), stuck in the Barrow Downs. As fellow members die
while attempting to keep her safe from the Barrow-Wights spawning around
her, the remaining battle-weary combatants are yelling, "Run, Lalia,
run!"
From the Shire to the Mordor
Twelve part mini-series
chronicling one hobbit's amazing journey from the sweetness of home to
the darkness that is Mordor. Watch this unauthorized biography of
one hobbit's experiences through dark, dangerous lands in an epic
journey that will change the lives of many...and all due to one ring
that wasn't even encrusted with diamonds.
Based on a true story and
filled with lush scenery as well as dark, disturbing battle scenes
giving even the darkest of Shade creatures nightmares for years to come!
How the Hobbit Burgled
Christmas
Sneaky hobbitses! Don't
let them anywhere near your spiked eggnog and rum balls!
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking
Barrels of Pipeweed
A hobbit burglar finds himself
in serious trouble when he's caught stealing from pipeweed dealers who had
already suspected he'd stolen from them countless times before. Giving him
a week to come up with the payment they demand, will the hobbit's shady
friends be able to save him, or will he find himself on the wrong end of a
smoking barrel?!
The Minstrel Always Sings
Twice
Tired of delivering mail on 13
different routes in the Shire, this postal worker by day moonlights as a
minstrel in battle at night. As a postman, he may ring twice, but it's the
singing that's really scary!
50 First
Deaths
After a horrifying accident
involving 3 Cave Claws, one poor low level elf has lost her ability to
retain new memories. Each time she resurrects, she forgets everything
that had happened since the first resurrection. Each new death is a
"first death" to her, and her friends (who know her condition) carry on
the act as if it really is.
The Ring: The One and Only
The one to rule them all. No
ring could bring more horror!
Snow White and the Seven
Hobbits
(Rumor has it Snow White
refused to work with the dwarves, as she was jealous of the thick beauty
of their hair, while hers was very thin and fine, not to mention dry and
brittle...plus she needed hair extensions. Thus, the hobbits became their
last minute replacements.)
Lore-master and Commander
Outmaneuvered, out-numbered and
battle weary though his/her companions may be...the Lore-master still
proceeds into battle, with armor light and raven rallying the attack.
(Of course, these are only a handful of
movies that could've been. There will be more to come in the future!)
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