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The stone ages of Middle Earth...

The Movies That Could've Been

 

The inhabitants of Middle Earth may not have had "moving pictures" or movies in their day, but if they had...just think of the movies that could've come from the Lord of the Rings Hollywood wannabes:

 

You, Me and Samwise Gamgee

A newlywed couple offers to take in their friend, Samwise Gamgee, for what they think will be just a few short days. But as the days pass, they realize lovable but lazy Samwise isn't looking for a job or doing anything else but drinking their ale, smoking pipeweed and shaving his feet, leaving hair all over their bathroom floor. How long can they survive before they're forced to boot Samwise off their "island"?!

 

Thank You for Gold Farming

The controversial satirical hit about the evil empires of gold farmers and the lobbyists who've promoted gold farming!

 

Run Lalia Run

A fellowship happens upon a helpless girl (Lalia), stuck in the Barrow Downs. As fellow members die while attempting to keep her safe from the Barrow-Wights spawning around her, the remaining battle-weary combatants are yelling, "Run, Lalia, run!"

 

From the Shire to the Mordor

Twelve part mini-series chronicling one hobbit's amazing journey from the sweetness of home to the darkness that is Mordor. Watch this unauthorized biography of one hobbit's experiences  through dark, dangerous lands in an epic journey that will change the lives of many...and all due to one ring that wasn't even encrusted with diamonds.

 

Based on a true story and filled with lush scenery as well as dark, disturbing battle scenes giving even the darkest of Shade creatures nightmares for years to come!

 

How the Hobbit Burgled Christmas

Sneaky hobbitses! Don't let them anywhere near your spiked eggnog and rum balls!

 

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels of Pipeweed

A hobbit burglar finds himself in serious trouble when he's caught stealing from pipeweed dealers who had already suspected he'd stolen from them countless times before. Giving him a week to come up with the payment they demand, will the hobbit's shady friends be able to save him, or will he find himself on the wrong end of a smoking barrel?!

 

The Minstrel Always Sings Twice

Tired of delivering mail on 13 different routes in the Shire, this postal worker by day moonlights as a minstrel in battle at night. As a postman, he may ring twice, but it's the singing that's really scary!

 

50 First Deaths

After a horrifying accident involving 3 Cave Claws, one poor low level elf has lost her ability to retain new memories. Each time she resurrects, she forgets everything that had happened since the first resurrection. Each new death is a "first death" to her, and her friends (who know her condition) carry on the act as if it really is.

 

The Ring: The One and Only

The one to rule them all. No ring could bring more horror!

 

Snow White and the Seven Hobbits

(Rumor has it Snow White refused to work with the dwarves, as she was jealous of the thick beauty of their hair, while hers was very thin and fine, not to mention dry and brittle...plus she needed hair extensions. Thus, the hobbits became their last minute replacements.)

 

Lore-master and Commander

Outmaneuvered, out-numbered and battle weary though his/her companions may be...the Lore-master still proceeds into battle, with armor light and raven rallying the attack.

 

(Of course, these are only a handful of movies that could've been. There will be more to come in the future!)

 

 

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