More movies! The inhabitants of Middle Earth may not have had "moving pictures" or movies in their day, but if they had...just think of the movies that could've come from the Lord of the Rings Hollywood wannabes:

Reservoir Wargs

The tail...or rather, tale...of heists gone awry. Reservoir Wargs chronicles a rough band of wargs --- lead by Asht --- in Minas Eriol and their failed attempts to steal Arnorian Rubble and Pottery without getting killed! These rabid wargs attempt to steal in order to pay their medical bills, but alas there are others on Middle Earth trying to burgle those same pieces. Watch as the wargs chew off an ear or two and beat up other burglars attempting to kill them while also stealing the rubble and pottery out from under them!

 

Down and Out in Barrow Downs

Confused, tired of running in circles and unable to find her way home, Lalia attempts suicide on the cryptstep of a family of Barrow-Wights who decide to take her in...at least until the next group of unwitting and unsuspecting "saviors" arrives!

 

One Flew Over the Craban's Nest

A troubled elf minstrel is sentenced to 45 days in a craban's nest for being caught stealing drake eggs in the North Downs. Before being allowed to flee the nest for good behavior after 23 days, the minstrel attempts to get the baby crebain to stand...or fly...up to the evil elite master drake known as Bleakwind.

Beauty and the Barghest

The tale of a beautiful Morroval in love with a seriously scarred Horrid Barghest. Can a winged beauty and a barghest find happiness and true love despite the odds...and those LOTROnians trying to kill them?!

Trollshawshank Redemption

A vault-keeper from the Trollshaws gets locked up at Old Odo's Leaf-Farm after being convicted of multiple murders of Sara Oakheart. His brigand captors teach him how to farm for profit and thus begins the vault-keeper's secret money laundering scam...a downward spiral into the gold farming business.

Frodo Baggins's Day Off

Comedy-horror where a hobbit named Frodo skips out of the quiet of the Shire for adventure and hijinx with his best friend Samwise, while two other friends (Merry and Pippin) sneakily tag along. The evils of dark lord Sauron linger near. Hope dwindles and an eerie eye can be seen as the dread begins to climb. (But since only the hobbits see the eye, it might have been an hallucinogenic side effect of the pipe-weed they smoked before leaving the Shire...and not actual dread.)

The Blackwold Spy Who Loved Me

Aragorn teams up with a female Brigand agent to stop a White Hand Lobber's plan to use the atomic firebombs he made...one time at goblin camp...to painstakingly destroy LOTROnians one at a time.

12 Angry Minstrels

Support group of minstrels ticked off at fellowships not understanding that some days...they'd just rather NOT have to resurrect anyone! Just because they're so good at it, doesn't mean they love it! Res you? "No. #%$ you! How about not being such a gimp next time. Don't die. =p"

 

Frodo Gump

Life on Middle Earth as viewed through the experiences of a sometimes slow-walking and slightly mentally challenged hobbit who becomes a ring-leader, a hobnanigans champion, a boar-meat butchering tycoon and the one who's responsible for the whole "Frodo's Burden" movement (where you walk slowly so as not to lose your second-breakfast in Rivendell after a night of heavy drinking in the Shire).

 

Silence of the Wargs

It happened to captains. It happened to minstrels. But with the return of their voices, some other poor creatures had to suffer. Howl as they might, only a rush of wind is now to be heard from a handful of wargs! Not even a nice Chianti can save the dulcet tones of their cries!

 

Brigands of the Bree-land: Curse of the Blackwold Thieves

Brigand Jasper Mudbottom goes on a rampage after the fair maidens of Bree-land reject him. Having depleted his financing and exhausted his supply of ale, he curses and claims there is no fixing Falco's folly...at least not until he's had time to become a Tavern League Member in the Shire first! But alas, even this brigand drunkard has tried and failed twice!

Night of the Living Barrow-Wights

Barrow-wights everywhere come alive. Nowhere are you safe! They knock you off your high-horse. They haunt you in your sleep. They taunt you in the Barrow Downs. The scent of their halitosis permeates the air, inciting you to run...in search of a better helmet with a nose-guard! (Nose-guard not required, but recommended before you watch this film. Film not rated yet.)

 

**Earnote: No synopses available at "press time."

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