Attention......Lalia...Constable Bolger...Old Sally the pig...Sara Oakheart...Leofwenna...Robb Thornley...Erscin......and any other NPC's (and Middle Earth residents as well) of similar  nature, these safety tips and advice are for you!

The Middle Earth Rescue Squad and Escort Service proudly present safety tips and helpful advice for the poor, lost souls and NPCs who can't seem to save themselves and who seem to keep repeating the same mistakes time and again, forcing many a LOTROnian to put their fellowships at risk just to save or escort one NPC who should've learned after the first 40 times that it really isn't a good idea to hang out in certain neighborhoods or to leave home without a map, a stun spell or full armor and weaponry!

Lalia...Constable Bolger...Old Sally the pig...Sara Oakheart...Leofwenna...Robb Thornley...Erscin......and many more of you. Don't look away! These tips are for your safety! Read them. Learn them. Take them to heart and put them into action!

 

Never leave home alone, especially on a quest of your own making!

 

Always travel in pairs or large groups.

 

Hold hands when crossing busy intersections and pathways.

 

Stay alert , keeping your eyes open, watchful for signs of approaching danger or other possible threats to your safety. Bears are not cute and cuddly. Barrow-wights are not friendly ghosts. Brigands, goblins and orcs do not wish to befriend you.

 

Wear light colored or reflective clothing, so that you may be visible when you are running directly into heavy traffic, through rough "gang" neighborhoods and especially at night.

Please note: we still advise against running into traffic and through "gang" neighborhoods, but we understand it can happen by accident on occasion. We want you to be prepared for that possibility.

 

Avoid confrontation!

• Do not run INTO groups or wait for them to spawn. Run, and keep running.

• Do not stop, especially when you feel something is "not right" or is suspicious.

• Do not walk. Run!

• Do not loiter.

• Do not linger. Run as if your life depends on it, because it most likely does!

 

Always carry a flashlight, lute (works better than a whistle), pepper spray and pie crusts with you, along with a big stick, full armor and plenty of food. You may be the target of goblinistic terrorism. You want to be prepared for anything.

 

Leave a trail of pie crust behind you, so you know your route back out quickly. This will keep you from getting lost or from being cornered, unable to recall the route back. Just follow the trail of pie crust!

We recommend: Using pie crust from one of Holly Hobbiton's spoiled pies, for no creature will be wanting to eat up those crumbs, so you're in no danger of losing the clues to your route back to safety!

 

Never, ever enter a neighborhood with which you are unfamiliar, or which feels sinister or which seems to have an age restriction for which you may not meet. When in doubt, wander back out.

 

When confronted by a stranger you do not feel comfortable with, use your natural defenses. Yell. Scream. Kick. Bite. Giggle. Punch. Scream some more. If you are a little girl, the sound of your giggles may be annoying enough to send your attacker into a state of frenzied insanity or loss of wits and consciousness until you are able to escape safely.

 

Whenever possible, when exploring and questing, rent a horse from the stables or use your own mount. Horses are your friends. The rentals especially are unlikely to throw you, to leave you standing all alone or to steer you into the path of danger as the rental units seem to have a better compass than the other horses.

 

If you know you will be going into unfamiliar territory, always...always take a map...a GPS unit...or specific directions with your quest route mapped out for you in advance. Make sure you get both directions to your destination and return trip directions from your destination.

 

Never ever take the shortcut, unless of course, it seems the less dangerous route when your life is in danger.

 

Never ever be lured by a Lore-Master claiming to have lost his/her cute little raven or bear. The Lore-Master may be trying to lure you into a Hunter's trap or into some situation of imminent danger, using the poor, innocent "lost" pet routine to trick you into "helping" him/her when no help is needed. These situations are usually traps. Beware!

 

Never talk, type, hum or emote to strangers...especially strangers in the form of goblins, orcs, brigands or trolls. You are less likely to draw attention to yourself if you avoid interaction, notice and discussion, therefore you may be safer in the shadows of silence!

 

If you see a cage and you think you might be being led to it or into it...run...or give them the name of an easier target *cough* Lalia *cough*. (We apologize if your name is Lalia. There is no one else for you to name as an easier target.)

 

Always maintain a safe distance when "following" someone, especially if you are unfamiliar with the others in the immediate and surrounding vicinity. Following too closely has been known to cause accidents, accidental dismemberments, kidnappings, loss of consciousness (up to and including death, with or without resurrection) and stubbed toes.

 

Accepting Help from Strangers

...wishing to whisk you to safety at last!

It is imperative to keep in mind, when you have gotten yourself into a dangerous situation for which you require aid or assistance, not every stranger who happens upon you wishes to help.

Use good judgment.  If you are wary of their intended "helpfulness," heed that caution and refuse their aid, letting them down gently so as not to arouse their suspicions or anger. (After all, some other poor suckers will come by to help you if you wait there long enough!)

Warning: Under no circumstances should you accept help from bears, goblins, trolls, orcs or even brigands...no matter how sexy or harmless you feel any of them may look.

If you are unable to shake the questionable offers of assistance, use that lute you have in your possession. Play it loudly and off-key. Also, use your other vocal defenses. Yell. Scream. Giggle like a teenage hobbit girl. This should suffice in scaring off those questionable sorts, at least for long enough to await more friendly offers of aid.

In extremely dire or dangerous situations, wait for proper assistance. If you run at this point, you may only make matters worse and run into even more trouble!

Finally, once you have been rescued, saved or escorted to safety, always remember to thank and reward your protectorates and escorts properly. The better you reward them, the more likely they are to help you again in the future, no matter how mentally challenged they may think you are for repeating those same mistakes again and again, being no smarter that 100th time than you were the very first!

This message sponsored by Middle Earth Residential,

Citizens for a Safer LOTRO and The Greater NPC Safety Council.

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