Do you find yourself frequenting message boards or what is known as Troll Avenue? Do you post more than you talk? Do you hibernate for long periods of time in front of a computer monitor...for pleasure, more so than for work? Are you comfortable beneath bridges and overpasses? Then, you just might be......A Board Troll.

 

Beware: the troll!

The troll may appear human on occasion, and may even express emotion, opinion and thought.

Tread carefully and do not feed the trolls (this includes yourself, if you are one). I repeat: do NOT feed the trolls! You do not know the capabilities or tendencies of a fully recharged and rejuvenated troll.

Trolls will often chew others up and spit them out more violently and more frequently than a bulimic beauty queen, her food.

Fearing you may be a troll? Compare your own image with the following:

The more you resemble the above image, the greater the percentage of troll in you. Note the:

• shifty eye,

• the hair obscuring part of your face (or arm pits), trying to hide something about you,

• the appearance of strong fingers with slightly sheathed claws

• and...the large nose that appears as if it could suck up entire humans through even just a single nostril.

If you find the above signs in your own image, proceed directly to your nearest message board and post a few threads or replies, allowing yourself to commiserate with your fellow trolls. (There may be no help for you, but at least there's safety in numbers.)

And remember, your mother was right:   Your fingers could "freeze" like that, if you're not careful!   Make sure you stretch and crack your knuckles at least once every 2 or 3 months, whether you need to or not.     (After all...the more limber your fingers, the easier it is to "crush" the message board noobs and still manage to sneak by unscathed by the moderation censors a bridge troll sets off from time to time!)

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