One often wonders just what a board troll really sees with eyes open or shut. Let's take a moment to look through a board troll's eye, keeping in mind that the troll with two eyes, probably has the other one shut or covered by hair, as a true troll always has something to hide!

Note the unnatural greenish hue that is evident and the lack of peripheral vision. The seasoned troll often has a tainted view of reality, in addition to difficulty in relating to others in the real world. Often, the troll even has difficulty seeing what is right in front of him/her clearly. However, finds it easy to converse about nothing for even hours on end.

There is a reason trolls are generally found beneath bridges and overpasses. Not only do they like to guard their territory and charge admission to "cross" their paths, but they are often sheltered creatures chained to their existence as recognized individuals in the realm of the message board world. Tread carefully, for if you "cross" the wrong troll, you may find your feet encased in cement as you face a horde of oncoming traffic (aka, other trolls-in-training-wheels) at the height of rush-hour when troll tempers and temperatures run the highest.

Anger one seasoned troll, and you'll likely find the other long-time trolls standing together in defense of one another. After all, in the open eye of a weathered troll, it is never the troll that is wrong. A post count of 5k, 10k or 25k, surely can't be proven wrong, can it?! Of course not! How dare the one who seeks to question the matter!

Heed all warnings and troll with caution. An amateur is no match for the seasoned troll. Tread lightly or you risk the wrath of a cold, immobile piece of stone that once was primarily human.

Under NO circumstance should you feed the trolls. A troll with food and ammunition is like George W. Bush with his own army guys, Tonka trucks, tankers, oil wells, cigarettes and super soakers. Be afraid. Be very afraid!

Anger the troll, and it could be you in his/her clutches, crushed like an old VW Bug.

 

So long as you are on the boards, the playground of the seasoned trolls...become the stone-like cement of which so many trolls are made.

You can look......but only so long as you can refrain from looking directly at them.

(Some trolls have properties much like Medusa. One look, and you're finished! They'll ensure it!)

You can touch......but you can't be touchy.

After all, "touchiness" shows weakness, and weakness is the biggest bull's-eye target of any seasoned troll ensconced in his or her own ego. Survival is often not of the fittest, but of the most self-satisfied, ego-maniacal of the herd. Learn to "moo" with the other cows, and even a sheepdog, snake or barracuda is accepted as 'one of them.'

You can converse......but only so long as can do so without actually saying anything at all.

The less you can say, and the more words you can say less in, the better! True seasoned trolls have never been admired to any extent for their intelligence and quick wit, but more so for their abilities to crush the weak, the weary, the lowly, "huddled masses yearning to breathe free," wanting to belong and daring to "be" themselves despite their lack, be it of post count or connection.

You can be present......but only so long as you can do so without having a presence.

After all, only the seasoned trolls are granted "presence" among their "equals." And in a troll's eye-view, you are not their equal and likely never will be, unless you have learned to play their games and play them well.

You cannot slip. You cannot falter. For if you do, you are finished.

They will see to it, have no doubt.

Want to "dance with the devil in the pale moonlight"?

Want to beat them at their own game?

Master their bridge and board games inside and out.

And never, ever even let you see yourself sweat!

How badly do you want to be accepted in the world of the board trolls?

Are you ready to sell out your friends, kiss countless ass and give up your dignity just to be one of them?

Or are you that daring breed who boldly goes where so few souls have gone,

maintaining your wits, free will, dignity, pride and self-worth,

no matter the risk...

 |   Bridges and Board Trolls   |   Troll's Eye-View   |   Troll's Visionary Warnings   |

|   Want more? See... Online Antics   |

***See important warnings regarding troll's eye-views here.