Having recently experienced another dental visit, I'm more convinced than ever that dentists are the anti-christ.

I'm also convinced that many of them have gone completely mad.

Seriously, what person or "professional" in his/her right mind would force patients (waiting in the dental chair) to stare at a roomful of posters, drawings and figures or displays of nothing but the following:

• cavities

• tooth decay

• gum disease

• dental caries

• ceramic teeth replicas

• bleeding gums

• tartar and plaque build-up

• flossing illustrations

• other dental nightmares and horrors

• other teeth-related anomalies

As if waiting in that contoured chair isn't bad enough already...especially if the dental assistant took a moment to stop in and prep you for the dentist or hygienist by outfitting you with that makeshift baby bib and turning on that glaring light they like to aim right into your eyes as you're blinking like a doe caught in the headlights. (Same thing really. You are just like that doe, feeling helplessly trapped with no escape...unless you're one of the lucky ones who will eventually get "rewarded" some Novocain!)

Those negative illustrations and visuals some dentists wickedly like to spotlight all over the exam room? Seeing isn't believing. It's decaying. In fact, those of you dentists who use such imagery are probably "decaying" the size of your clientele before we even meet you! You're certainly not "warming" us to you by those images being our first impression of a visit to you or your office.

Sure, dentists, dental assistants and hygienists, we get it. You're intimidating us, our teeth...and our mouths...with scare tactics.

Unfortunately, if we're visiting you, it's probably already too late for your scare tactics to work. In case you didn't know it, we usually aren't there because we like your sense of humor or your chair-side manner.

So, how about instead of the horrors of the dental world, you show us some of the positives instead?

• Show us those pearly white smiles and beautifully clean, straight teeth!

• Show us toothpastes, mouthwashes, rinses and breath freshener!

• Show us something that sends the vibe that clean and healthy teeth are sexy, but please....NO MORE scare tactics!

We don't need to be forced to stare at depictions of dental traumas, tragedies and horrors every time we have a dental appointment, whether it's for a check-up, fillings, root canals, etc. You can still impact our dental behaviors without going Rambo, Terminator, Alec Baldwin, Hulk Hogan, Adolf Hitler, Ninja or Hillary Clinton on us!

Some of us may respond better to positive stimuli. In fact, we may even decide to visit you as often as is recommended...if that trip is less of a tongue lashing and more of the kinder, gentler tongue scraping.

Go ahead and chastise us if we need to take better care of our teeth, but please...less hardcore visuals of tooth- and gum-related horrors or you'll need an R rating on your office exam room doors. Do you really want to have to "card" or ID check all your dental clients before you can let them walk into that exam room?!

Think it over. We're only human. We know you don't like sugar, but if you treat us with more sugar and sweetness, we would probably like you better...even if you still tell us we shouldn't eat so much candy or drink so much soda. We might respect you more for respecting us!

Besides, were we to invite you to our businesses or homes, I highly doubt we'd try to scare you into letting us work for you or on you...unless, of course, we were dentists, too! Drop the horrific posters, illustrations and figures.

 We'll compromise.

We'll let you keep your drill

and all those other scary dental tools.

Just please don't make us stare

into the mouths of madness

and dental anomalies anymore!

 Dental humor... Fun with Dental Horrors

 

If you liked the above...click below for more

Career-Related Humor