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St Patrick's Day

Leprechaun ID Check

 

 

Though the Irish leprechauns may be hard to find most of the year, they run rampant in March, especially on the St. Patrick's Day holiday. Therefore, they are much easier to recognize on that one day each year than any other day.

 

How can you recognize or spot a leprechaun?

What are the possible signs or symptoms that give them away?

See below, and maybe you'll find you know more leprechauns than you realize:

 

 

Do you know someone with the coloring of an ogre,

the stature of a gnome and the disposition of a jolly Christmas elf?

(That is, so long as you don't steal the person's Guinness, Irish whiskey or the bridge he or she drinks under.)

Leprechaun!

 

 

Do you know someone that, under certain light, appears the same coloring and shape as that of a bottle of dark, bitter ale?

Definitely nothing more Irish than that leprechaun! (After all, they are what they drink!)

 

 

Do you spot a rainbow every time a certain person is around?

That's right...leprechaun! Don't just stand there gawking. What are you waiting for? It's time to go look for that pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow!

 

 

Have you ever spotted a blushing, embarrassed couple in the woods, and instead of twigs and leaves, they're covered in shamrocks?

Leprechauns!

 

 

Know anyone who always seems to be wearing green? In fact, if not wearing green, the person's not wearing anything at all?

Leprechaun! Even Tarzan, Adam and Eve wore lush greenery if they wore anything at all! it's not been proven that they were leprechauns, but who needs science and DNA testing when the evidence is so obvious?!

 

 

Ever heard someone yell "Erin Go Bragh!"...

but when you asked, "Who's Erin and what about her bra?"...

you were given a strange, confused look in return?

Leprechaun! A leprechaun may still know an Erin and may covet what's beneath her bra, but would never be rooting for a bra, unless it was to root for its disappearance.

 

 

Have you ever known someone who turns down a chocolate cream pie in favor of shepherd's pie?

Leprechaun! And lucky for you, too, since it means more chocolate for you!

 

 

Ever said the word "hobbit" around someone, and noticed how visibly angered, upset, crazed or distraught he or she appeared just from the mere mention of "hobbit"?

Leprechaun! Ever since the release of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, leprechauns have been living in the shadows of hobbits, always being mistaken for them or thought to share the same tendencies, habits and fuzzy feet.

 

 

Know anyone who insists that which they kiss are Blarney Stones...not ass? (Sure, nice try. Maybe it's just the "PC" way to term it.)

Leprechaun in denial of reality. Don't go near those lips. You know where they've been and that's no blarney! But the leprechaun is right. It is generally good luck to kiss ass.

 

 

Know anyone always being accused of being "green" or jealous?

Leprechaun! After all, unless you're sick or rolling in the money, there's really no other reason to be "green." Note, in some cases, this could also be an indication of a frog, but...since you can make a leprechaun "ribbit" with ease (after all that Guinness or Irish whiskey), it's still safe to assume "leprechaun."

 

 

Do you know someone who purposefully dyed his or her hair green, and decided NOT to "fix" it or shave it off a day or so later?

Leprechaun!

 

 

Ever known someone who claims to have "lucky charms" in place of "balls"?

Leprechaun...specifically, one who's eaten too much fruity cereal.

 

 

Often times, it's hard to recognize a baby leprechaun, but there is a simple way to know for sure. Check the bottle that the baby is drinking from. When you discover the contents came straight from the tap, there will be no doubts.

Baby leprechaun! Just don't check that diaper, as contents may appear like grass......always greener on the other side! *gasp*

 

 

Have you heard someone who's ALWAYS slurring, and always doing so with a thick Irish lilt?

Leprechaun! This is probably the most widely recognized leprechaun, as you'll notice this one seems to be inseparable from his/her barstool...especially on St. Patrick's Day!

 

 

Have you heard someone express in 20 or more different slang words and phrases that he or she is drunk?

Leprechaun! Unfortunately, if you recognize all those words and phrases as referring to a state of inebriation, you've just proven your own membership in the land of Leprechaundom.

 

 

Whether you're Irish or merely pretending for a day...

(like the site owner known as Onyx,

who --- for one day each year --- shall be known as O'Nyx)

Happy St Patrick's Day!

And for the leprechauns hiding out there somewhere...

save a few pints for the other laddies, lassies and paddies out there.

 

 

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