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Ms Onyx's Christmas Carols:

Another twisted holiday tune

for the untraditional...

 

Blah blah blah. What do you get when you combine penguins, Christmas, trees and a holiday carol?

 

You get another twisted Christmas carol by Onyx...

and a strange animated holiday tree

where penguins dangle and twinkle

like an odd string of lightless, flightless holiday lights!

 

 

 

 

 

O Penguin Dude

(Twisted version of "O Christmas Tree")

 

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

Thy wings are so not flying;

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

Thy wings are so not flying;

You only live to eat and mate,

You waddle like a short, fat bird.

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

Thy wings are so not flying!

 

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

You probably taste like chicken;

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

Your wings they cannot get it up;

The many miles you waddle for

A mating with a flightless chick.

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

She’s just using you for sperm.

 

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

Look! She’s gonna lay an egg!

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

You still can’t fly, nor can the egg!

Keep that egg warm ‘til it breaks,

No eating it at any cost!

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

You’re grounded, ne’er once to fly!

 

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

How lifelessly you’re hanging now!

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

How lifelessly you’re hanging now!

So useless you are hanging there,

You flightless, frigid Southerner.

O Penguin Dude! O Penguin Dude!

She’d rather have screwed a lightbulb.

 

 

 

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