Lick an Ear: Onyx's Guide to Insanity . . . . enhancing verbal neurons the natural way!

 

|   Home   |   World on My Terms   |   Spotlight   |   Pocket Philosopher   |   O...racle!   |   Corrupted Coffee   |   Fragments of the Subconscious   |   Lick's Picks   |   Links   |   ** New **   |

Having problems celebrating the February 14th holiday? Torn between Valentines and Anti-Valentines? Fear not, you can cover both in one simple holiday message or greeting. No need to celebrate just one or the other, when you can have the best and worst of both sides of the Valentines Anti-Valentines holiday!

 

Simply send your sweeties, un-sweeties, relatives, friends, fiends and other enemas, enemies or anemones a link to this page. Love them, like them or hate them...they'll be too confused to know for sure. Either way, your holiday greeting is sure to be remembered more than any standardized lovey-dovey, sugary love note.

 

February 14th:

The Love-Hate Holiday

 

 

To All the Dearest Undears and the Undearest of Dears...

to loves, ex's, friends, enemies,

strangers, acquaintances, beasts, burdens

and other two-legged animals...

 

 

I love you. <3

I hate you.

 

 

You're a special part of my world.

You're the part that makes it inherently suck as no other!

 

 

There's no one I'd rather spend the day with.

There's no one I'd rather kick the crap out of day after day!

 

 

You make my heart sing in beautiful harmony.

The harmonization of arteries clogging in unison.

 

 

You give me reason to live.

You give me reason to mutilate raw meat to a bloody pulp.

 

 

I couldn't go on without you.

I could wander the desert for days to leave you there to rot.

 

 

I thirst for you. I hunger for you.

If we were stranded, I'd eat your flesh and drink your blood before you got mine.

 

 

I love you more than words can translate.

I hate you without the need for expression.

 

 

Your lips, sweet and tender...like a touch of spring on rose petals.

Your kisses, gross and slimy...like dog slobber on a rawhide bone.

 

 

I could embrace you for forever.

I could squeeze you until you turn blue and pass out.

 

 

I'd give anything to be near you.

I'd give everything to escape you!

 

 

I miss you when you're not here with me.

I can't stand knowing we share the same planet.

 

 

I long to breathe you into my senses.

I long to sense you're on your last breath.

 

 

My heart aches for you.

You're the heartburn prescription antacids beat down.

 

 

I love you so deeply I can't explain.

I hate you so much that I would (explain)!

 

 

Your scent is sweetly intoxicating.

I'm intoxicated just so I won't smell the stench of you.

 

 

I'm a better person for knowing you.

I'd be better off knowing I'm a person who had not.

 

 

You inspire me to no end.

Your end is nothing to be inspired by.

 

 

You're engrained in my mind.

You're the brain tumor scheduled for surgical removal.

 

 

I love you. <3

I hate you.

 

My love, my friend, my heart.

My hate, my horror, my hurt.

 

My Valentine, the gem I closely embrace.

My Anti-Valentine, the horse's ass I can't help but kick!

 

 

 

Happy Unhappy

Broken- yet Overflowing-Hearted,

Loving Loveless Bipolar February 14th Day!

 

(In other words....Happy Valentines and Happy UnValentines or Anti-Valentines Day!)

 

 

 

|   Want more fragmented holiday humor? Click here!   |

|   Home   |   World on My Terms   |   Spotlight   |   Pocket Philosopher   |   O...racle!   |   Corrupted Coffee   |   Fragments of the Subconscious   |   Lick's Picks   |   Links   |

Copyright © 2006-2008 lickanear.com & . All Rights Reserved.               Legal Disclaimer & Terms of Use