Good friends can be a rare find, and being one can often seem a lot of “work.” In the end, the rewards of a great friendship are more than worth it!

 

No matter how many or few friends you have…there’s always room for improvement in those friendships. Build a better friendship…and there’s no end to the natural, unnatural or even supernatural =p disasters that relationship can withstand!

 

Do you have a friend you think is hurting…maybe depressed, sad, dealing with issues (whether you just “sense” this or “know” this), confused, going through a difficult time, etc.? Be that friend’s “rock.” Let him/her know you’re there for moral support, venting, ranting, discussion, advice…or simply for those smiles, laughs and hugs probably needed as much, if not more than, anything else.

 

Don’t wait for your friends to confide in you or to tell you there’s something wrong. Reach out to them. If you sense that a friend isn’t his/her “usual self”…pick up on that.

 

 

 

We like to talk. Need to talk. And yes, it IS important to us that you figure some of this out on your own. We don’t want to have to tell you all the time. Sometimes, we just really want you to ask…and want you to utilize some of the finer points of maintaining a friendship without us having to hit you over the head to get you to understand how much some of those “little things” mean to us.

 

Pay attention. Listen. Offer an ear or shoulder…or even a warm embrace. Offer a hug --- make it a “virtual” one if you’re unable to be there in person. Let your troubled friend know your spirit is with him or her and that --- in your heart --- you feel their pain and hurt as well. Of course, if you’re not into hugs, or if it’s too “touchy-feely” for you…show your friend you care in other ways acceptable and expected.

 

Don’t wait to be told there’s a problem or an ache of some kind. ASK! If you suspect your friend is hurting, whether you feel they wish to talk about it or not, ask if something’s wrong or if there’s anything you can do. Even if they don’t wish to discuss whatever may be on their mind…they’ll appreciate that you asked, showing care and concern for them. This also opens the door for them to discuss it with you …whether it’s now or at some future point.

 

Have you ever longed for a friend to say, “Hey, you seem kind of down…are you okay?”? Chances are, you --- like me --- probably have at least once. And if so, don’t you think the chances are great that most others, especially those close friends in your life, wish for that as well?

 

Be a better friend.

Take the effort.

Make that move.

Ask that question.

Be that listening ear.

 

 

(You never know…it may just get your ear licked! =p)

 

 

Give that hug.

            Encourage that smile.

                        Bring about that resounding laughter you love to hear.

 

Maybe your friend isn’t the sappy, “touchy-feely” type, preferring to keep their problems and issues to themselves, never sharing or discussing what’s really bothering them.

 

You can still let them know you care and are there for them in other ways.

 

Lift their spirits with humor or with amusing tales of your own --- or someone else’s =p --- embarrassing moments. Make a sly comment about some past fun you’ve shared…a fond memory bound to warm even the most reserved heart. Distract your friend by making plans to go do something he or she enjoys doing --- whether it’s golfing, watching bad movies, going to a club, pub crawling or something else entirely.

 

 

 

 

Be a better friend. Communicate. Talk. Listen. Babble. Vent. Rant. Rave. Whisper. SCREAM!. And listen as your friend does the same.

 

Give and take.

            Want and need.

                        Advise and take advice.

                                    Accept the criticisms as well as the praise…

                                                …from a friend with nothing but your best interests at heart.

 

 

Before you get angry and defensive, take some time to reflect on what was said. Maybe you need time to yourself before you’re ready or able to talk to your friend again. Maybe those vehement denials you wanted to throw back, or those hurtful remarks are the absolute worst way to handle the situation. Maybe there’s a better approach…okay, there’s definitely a better approach. A true friendship can get past the hurt of criticism taken too personally, learning and growing from it. Fearless communication means your friend doesn’t want to lie to you…and wouldn’t you prefer honesty, after all…even if sometimes it hurts?

 

The deeper the friendship, the more you’re going to disagree or argue from time to time. You’re even going to experience anger, frustration, hurt and a whole array of other emotions. It’s okay. It’s natural. Cherish those differences and experiences…learn and grow from them. This allows you each to learn more about the other, deepening the friendship, even if you sometimes wonder at all the differences…and are still somewhat baffled how you ever bonded over something in the first place.

 

Our friends are never an exact replica , clone or mirror image of ourselves. If they were, most of us probably wouldn’t get along with them so well! In fact, some of us may not even like the person if they were “us.” =p One of us is bad enough, but two?! *gasp* Yeesh! The universe might implode!

 

Forgive and forget when you’ve disagreed.

Share and partake.

Embrace and be embraced…

                                    Physically and/or spiritually.

 

Remind. Reminisce. Be yourself.

 

And in those rare occasions where some of us just need or want to wallow in our own misery or self-pity…allow us some freedom to do so…and understand that sometimes it just feels right. (Eventually, we’ll pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off…and throw off that yoke of depression or self-pity. And we’ll appreciate that pity party you wanted to throw us. *wink*) But while we’re wallowing, don’t feel helpless. We still appreciate your efforts and company. Sometimes, all you need to do is sit silently beside us in spirit, mind and/or body. Knowing that you’re mentally there for us --- hoping that doesn’t just mean you’re “mental” --- is the greatest gift one friend can offer another!

 

 

And if all else fails…

 

Hide some silly messages on post-it’s for later discovery.

 

Change his/her screensaver or wallpaper…to something almost completely inappropriate or so “not them.”

 

Knock him/her upside the head a few hundred times! Okay, so this is not really recommended, but if you’ve ever had a long-term friendship, there are probably those moments of extreme frustration where you’ve thought about it…at least in a cartoon-ish, comical way.

 

Leave a long, senselessly rambling message on his/her voicemail or answering machine. And if “cut off,” call back and continue on. (Repeat until message complete or the mailbox is full!) *gasp*

 

Show up on his/her doorstep with pizza and a movie.

 

Meet for coffee, ice cream, smoothies….or all three! (Then, meet up at the gym later in the week when you’re both feeling guilty about the overindulgence!)

 

Offer to wax your privates, just so your pain will outweigh his or hers.

 

Offer to wax his chest and back or her arms…just because you’re evil like that! =p

 

Meet for drinks or bring the drinks to him/her. Everyone needs some mindlessness now and then!

 

Make him/her breakfast…or meet for brunch!

 

Make a “mix tape”…er, CD.

 

Dedicate a song to your friend. A nice one. =p (Sorry, no death-metal "die die die" song. It just wouldn't work right.)

 

Remind him/her how glad you are to have their friendship…relate a time when the friendship helped you through a difficult time in some way.

 

Tell him/her something that always brings you a smile as it reminds you of him/her or some past memory you’ve made together…maybe it’s a song, movie or even just a certain phrase heard, or the way the sun looked this morning…or last night. Maybe it was a mischievous cat, a swooping bat or that dog that wouldn’t quit humping your leg! *gasp*

 

Show them this website…and/or this topic. (Sorry…free advertising…but hey, look, no pop-ups! =p)

 

Give a gift…even just a small token of affection. Make it a “Happy Meal”…or just the toy after you ate the meal (letting your friend know that you only ate the meal altruistically to save them from the calories). Make it a movie he/she loves, a gift certificate to his/her favorite store, restaurant or mall…or even your friend’s favorite cappuccino, latte or other beverage of choice.

 

Offer a mental health break…where it’s all about him/her and whatever he/she most feels like discussing, doing or not.

 

Say I love you. I <3 you. I care. You mean a lot to me. I’m so glad you’re my friend. I miss you…I miss the me I am with you when I’m not with you. (And I miss you too!) And if that’s too “touchy-feely”…say it without saying it. Let your actions show you’re there for them, no matter what. Maybe the way you guys show you care is by picking on each other…so do it! You know best how you show your care for each other without coming across as too emo or too sappy.

 

Play a game…or three or four.

 

Go “people-watching” and make up stories about your subjects…or just about yourselves and your “glamorous” lives.

 

Just be there…in any way you can, and remind your friend you’re there no matter what…kinda like a fly at a picnic. *wink*

 

 

Build a better friendship…it makes a better “you” --- for not only those who know you, but for yourself as well. Contact and reach out to a friend or two today……Make someone’s day, and maybe your own will be made in return.+++

 

 

 

++Earnote: If you’re one of my friends and you’re reading this, you know what to do. But just in case you forgot, what I really need most right now is a hug, tug at the heart-strings, a few gems from your mind (as I love you for far more than the way your molecules are put together) and maybe a bit of caffeine served up with a nice helping of sugar - preferably something chocolate, frosted or both! Nothing tart and tangy, though. I'm already plenty tart and tangy without the additives. =p Oh, and if you're really going all out, how about the winning lottery ticket for a healthy jackpot that still needs to be claimed? (Hey, I can dream, can't I?!) But if all that is too much to ask, how about just simply saying, “Hello, friend…I was just thinking of you…”

 

 

+++Earnote: This does NOT mean to send out chain letters. Do this, and you’ll be more likely to find yourself choke-chained! *gasp* Incidentally, send this to 5 people you care for today and you’ll have the usual luck you have every other day of the year. =p And if you want two years’ worth of your usual luck, then send this to 5 people you care for, 10 people you don’t, 1-3 of your worst nemeses and your favorite teacher from grade school!

 

 

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