Read the intro below or just scroll down to Ms Onyx's Confessional.

It’s recently been discussed somewhere or other my many shortcomings and downfalls. I attribute them to bad genetics. I mean, hey, I’m short and I fall down, big deal. It happens to everyone. The bright…and hokey…side is, I pick myself up, dust myself off and I know at the end of the day….those same people discussing my “issues,” don’t even know me and  couldn’t begin to understand me if they tried. Bummer for them.

Life is easy when you’re so shallow you never make it beyond the kiddie pool and don’t realize that warm spot you’re standing was actually where the two-year-old beside you just peed moments ago.

Life is easy when it’s not you you’re judging without knowing the clear picture. Fuzzy or distorted images? No problem. If you squint enough, you’re sure you can tell whether that blob on the screen is a bear, a stash of chocolate, a washed up reality show star, a large pizza, a frozen Popsicle, a leather recliner or a huge pile of dung. In some cases, you’re sure it’s “all the same” anyway.

Life is easy when it isn’t you being dissed, dismissed and talked of as if it’s so unreasonable for you to have expectations of those you know…the same expectations you’d have of yourself.

It’s easy to bash the indefensible, the absentee, the permabanned. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know the details, since none of those people are there to defend or stand up for themselves, right? And if they can’t say anything, well, then everyone else surely must be right in every ugly word, phrase or alleged accounting of details…right?!

Shame on you if you even for a split-second thought that really was “right,” whether you’d admit that aloud or not. Shame on you for deciding “reasonable doubt” means reasonably guilty, when in fact you don’t even have half the details, half the history or even a ¼ of an understanding on all involved.

But hey, if I’m so guilty, vicious, vindictive and conniving as it seems some want to believe, so be it…I admit it. I am guilty of everything. Play the blame game, and pin all the blame on me. I may as well confess now, so there’s no more conjecture of just what I might be guilty of. I mean, let me set the record straight before you confuse the issue anymore. I confess. I am guilty of…

(Just so I don't overwhelm you, you'll only see 3 random confessions at a time in addition to what follows below them.

Simply "refresh" the page to see more. There are many!)

I confess......

I'm actually not really guilty of all that. I just did it for the attention. Figuring I can be accused of attention-whoring as well, without actually being present, saying a word or having a voice, well...I may as well see what attention-whoring is like when you actually partake of it. So, alas, here I am...blame me.

Never worry again when you do something wrong, or even *gasp* something...right. =p

• Broke a shoelace?

• Got in a fight?

• Burnt the house down?

• Accidentally told your boss off instead of saying "yes, sir/ma'am"?

• Let someone down?

• Forgot you had to be somewhere, sometime with someone?

• Left the toilet seat up again?

 

No worries! I'm here for you. In the blame game, I'll always lose so you can win!

Wherever there is guilt to be had and responsibility to be taken, never worry or fear again.

Like the card above says...Get out of Blame Free! Why take the blame, when you can be guilt-free and simply blame me instead?! That's right. It's the "in" thing to do...blame me, prosecute me, convict and indict me without a hearing, trial or defense. I'm the one. I did it all.**

**Earnote: Naturally, I just did it for the attention you think I wanted from it. After all, I'm an attention-whore. I couldn't possibly share humor, thoughts, wonderings or other bizarre fascinations simply because I am human++ and enjoy sharing the amusement with others, thinking they might appreciate the diversion and entertainment as well......could I?!

Disclaimer: Remember, just because it isn't mentioned in any of the confessions above does not necessarily mean I am not guilty of the offense or charge. Whatever you can dream up, it must've been me. I'm the guilty one. Relax, the rest of you are all innocent and can judge me without feeling any remorse or wonder if you should really be throwing stones from your glass house. You're always well-intentioned and only looking out for others' best interests, never thinking of yourself, right? You're all Gods, sweet angels...as innocent as newborn babes. It's me. I'm the only one that could possibly be devious and dastardly all the time. Only my intentions are never well, good or even medium-rare. ++Some might think I'm only human, caring, sensitive, mortal and fallible. Don't confuse me with a humanoid-type creature with feelings, a heart or a long list of cares and concerns. It had to be me. I'm guilty. I did it, even if I had an alibi, a fruit pie, wasn't alive at the time the misdeed occurred, was thousands of miles away or wasn't even aware the misdeed occurred. Rest assured. You can all sleep better now, knowing that you are never again to blame for anything...not even about those little white lies on your resume or drivers' licenses.

 Get out of Blame Free!

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