September 2008

Sometimes, you really have to wonder about the world and the "genius" of the minds in it (save for yours and mine, of course). But then again, is it the fault of the minds or those of us in the world they often find senseless enough to actually "buy" their ideas, products, creations or whatever ridiculous nonsense they're trying to sell us? Read on...

Gay Man Tells Ladies How to Love Their Bodies Naked

...and a large enough number of women supposedly buy into this theory that he, as a gay man, knows best; so, not only did the series survive its first season, but it was renewed and given an extra half-hour per episode for season two!

Ladies, puh-leaze! Are you really fooled into thinking that a gay man who's in all actuality "not that into you" (and never will be) is the best one for the job of convincing you to love your own body through all your perceived flaws, imperfections and issues with it... clothed, naked or camouflaged in any way?!

 

Sure, stereotypical gay males may have that reputation for style and flair, but come on...he's gay! Gay, I tell you! Gay! Yes, I have my own friends that are gay, but you know...I wouldn't turn to them asking them to tell me how to love my own body. (In fact, they as well, have a good laugh over the idea that women pay that man to tell them what some apparently think we as females aren't savvy enough to figure out on our own.) If anything, they should be telling other men how to love their bodies naked. Seriously!

 

However, were I that guy with the now hour-long show on a channel for women that's paying him for this...I'd be laughing all the way to the bank. After all, it's a con in a sense and the programmers who bought the series make a mockery of ladies everywhere by subjecting us week after week to a gay man who they apparently think knows more about our own female minds and bodies than we do.

 

Sorry, but if it's not a woman to woman thing, wouldn't the advice be better coming from a straight man who actually is "that into" females?!

 

 

Disposable Razors...three, four...no, now with five blades!!

...It's amazing. It's brilliant. No, wait...it's so yesterday. Just wait until tomorrow!

Sure, two blades was better than one and three was even better. Four, well...okay...but five? When will it end?! Maybe I should patent the idea of a 17-bladed disposable razor. *sarcasm on* Surely, 17 blades is astoundingly better than five! *sarcasm off*

 

At some point, the difference another blade or ten makes is miniscule or even completely nonexistent compared to the risk of injury. Imagine the wrong slip of hand and the gashes you could get if only you had a 17-bladed razor. Ouch. Call the paramedics! It's not just a minor cut anymore. It's a suicide mission!

 

If you want to innovate the disposable razor, how about a sensitivity lotion strip that retains its moisture and purpose beyond a use or two. Or hey, why not design an environmentally "green" razor...one that could be composted instead of congregating with all the other disposables in our landfills? Of course, I'm not sure how you'd compost a razor nor why you'd want to but going green is the way of things, so I'm sure someone of questionable genius could figure that out for us so we wouldn't break a nail or lose a finger pulling the blades out before composting.

 

 

Politics in the Realm of "Entertainment News"...

Is the entertainment industry so hard-up for news that not only does it regularly include reality show "celebs," but now politicians, too?!

I don't care what celeb is campaigning or backing which politician. I don't care what morning or evening talk show a politician or his/her significant other may be appearing on while hoofing the campaign trail.

 

Politics and entertainment are two separate genres. Let's keep it that way. If I want to hear the latest political related news, I can catch that on...what else? The news! Maybe I'm wrong but at one point in time, wasn't the point of "entertainment news" shows entertainment, entertainers and entertainment-related industry news?

 

You know...actors, actresses, directors, movies, TV shows, awards show news, behind-the-scenes scoops, fashion flubs and wonders, etc.

 

Politics does not fit any part of that description, nor does a politician's spouse. No matter how much style or class one thinks a politician's wife (or husband) has, it is not entertainment news, unless of course, that person really is a Hollywood entertainer. And no matter how cute or photogenic a politician's kids are...again, not entertainment news or every parent's child would make the show sooner or later!

 

Maybe politicians and their families are entertaining...at least to their families, friends and neighbors, but that doesn't mean Hollywood needs to broadcast their public appearances and hype their upcoming debates or speeches on entertainment news programs. Generally speaking, those entertainment shows rarely give "equal time" to opposing candidates, so they're basically just allotting this candidate or that free airtime that could in some cases even be viewed as an endorsement, even where none is intended.

 

 

Large Sums of Money, a Game-Show, a Lie Detector

...and a Pride-Lacking, Self-Satisfied, Money-Grubbing Contestant

No question he or she won't answer. No answer too embarrassing or traumatic to the "health" of his or her relationships with family and friends...right?

Here's to you Mr. or Ms. Contestant who values dollar signs overall...no matter the cost to the health of your own dignity and personal relationships. Admittedly, the amount of money one could gain if all questions are answered honestly is highly enticing, but would you really want to risk that much fallout or collateral damage in so many aspects of your personal life just for money? Yes, it would be nice not to worry about your finances, but as nice as that is, you'd likely have new woes and struggles as a result that could seem much more dire and emotionally heart-wrenching.

 

I've heard the answers and seen the looks on the faces of the contestants' families, bosses, co-workers and friends. I've seen the candid flippancy with which some contestants answer some of the most painful of personal questions. It's as if some don't have a care in the world nor a moment's pause to how those closest to them will take the not-so-rosy truths generally locked away safely within one's own private thoughts. One can't help but be drawn to witnessing the train-wrecks, but to be one in the seat doing the wrecking...? Not for any price, but thanks just the same!

 

Every single one of us has some truth that's gonna hurt those that matter most in one's life, no matter how inconsequential that truth may seem to us at the time or how "in the past" it is...no matter how clean or uncluttered a life you've convinced yourself that you lead. None of us is perfect nor beyond judgment. There may also be those unseemly, distasteful truths you don't even admit openly to yourself. Would you and yours be willing to risk the public humiliation to yourself and those closest to you by airing those answers in a manner in which not only can millions of strangers witness your degradation, but so can everyone you know on a more personal nature? (Then again, if you're of the myspace / facebook generation......this is probably something you'd have no qualms about as some of you do it all the time on your own page viewable to all, friend or not.)

 

And yet, the game-show producers seem to find an endless supply of fearless, pride-lacking contestants...despite the fact that in season one, a follow-up reported numerous contestants experienced related fallout that they and their families were still attempting to recover from --- some of whom even sought counseling to aid them in that healing process.

 

One has to wonder just how many of them found it worth it in the end...especially when a number of them did not realize the winnings they had thought would be so easily theirs simply for answering questions on a televised game-show that didn't require lightning-fast thinking, vast trivia knowledge or genius-like wits.

 

 

 

And now from the senseless to the over-sensed...

The Duh Factor

 

Why is it so many married game-show contestants, upon introduction, will tell you they're married to their spouses? Well, duh!

"Yes, Pat, I'm married to my wonderful husband of 10 years and we have 2 kids, 3 Chihuahuas and a circus elephant." (Okay, so maybe the circus elephant is a slight exaggeration. It was a circus peanut on the kitchen floor left there by the previous owners of a starter home on wheels.)

Of course, you're married to your wife or your husband. Duh! Isn't saying your married to your husband or wife a bit repetitive and somewhat like a double-negative (more in some cases than others, of course *wink*)?

 

Who did you think we'd think you were married to? Your son? Your mistress? Your pet goldfish named Tiger? Someone else's "BFF Rose" that you saw on some godawful TV commercial you can't get out of your mind?!

 

Yes, from now on, it's safe to assume you don't have to tell anyone you're married to your spouse. Most of us just "assume" that's the case. However, if you are married to your pet goldfish, you may want to mention that. None of us would Duh! you for that, though we might suspect you need meds and round-the-clock clinical supervision in a padded room.

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