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Ask the O…racle!

Question:

How many online gamers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

(Full answer below.)

 

 

This question in its current state is too broad to answer for certain. After all, you didn't mention what games these online gamers are playing. Puzzle games? Solitaire? Multi-player card games? MMORPG's? Hangman or other word games? Online first-person shoot 'em up games? Not all online gamers are created equal, nor are all players of just one of those types of games.

In this instance, I'll assume you are discussing the online gamers of the MMORPG realm. With those gamers, there are many other factors to take into account as well. See below:

  • Have the gamers eaten anything besides chips, pizza and chocolate within the last 3-4 hours?

  • Have the gamers had anything to drink besides caffeine (soda/coffee)? (In other words, are the gamers properly hydrated?)

  • Is the light bulb needing to be changed in the same room as the online gamers' computers? And if so, what is the time of day and/or is the room currently light, dark or moderately light without that light bulb?

  • Do the online gamers have to leave their chairs in order to change the light bulb...and/or what kind of physical shape are the online gamers in?

  • What level(s) are the online gamers?

  • Are the gamers uber, gimped, somewhere in between or is that an unknown in this equation?

  • What kind of light bulb is it...size, shape, wattage, brand?

  • How experienced are the gamers in-game versus out?

  • Is there a place the gamers can look up light-bulb changing directions online while in-game?

  • Can the gamers use an in-game chat channel for advice in case there is any confusion or trouble?

  • Have the gamers done this sort of thing...changing light bulbs...before? How often? When were their last attempts or successes?

  • Do the gamers have pets or other distractions to worry about during the changing of the light bulb?

  • Do any of the gamers have crafting skills trained that apply to light bulb changing?

  • How many "experience points" do they earn upon completion of the Light Bulb Changing quest?

  • Does the light bulb "add 50 pounds" to the gamers, much like the camera adding 10 pounds to an entertainer?

  • And finally...are the gamers suffering from carpel tunnel syndrome?

Not knowing the answers to those questions makes it almost impossible to know exactly how many online gamers it may take to change a light bulb at any given time. The truth is, the number of gamers required to change a light bulb will vary dependent upon their individuals stats and situations. It could be one, two, three...a full fellow (which also varies in size, dependent upon the game)...a raid group of 24 or more......You just never know for sure until the job is done.

One thing is for certain, though...if the online gamers are fellowed with others and are in the middle of a quest or instance, "screw" the light bulb....er, screw it yourself! No online gamers are going to go "AFK" (away from keyboard) during a quest or instance just to change some silly little light bulb.

Sheesh! What do you need light bulbs for anyway, when a computer monitor puts out so much glowing light all by itself?! Just put a computer in every room, turn it on and leave the monitor on. Brighter than a night light yet not so bright that it hurts your eyes early in the morning or late at night.

 

Earnote: Granted, computers are more expensive than light bulbs, but it is one sure way to attract an online gamer. Learn to play their online games and you're set......so long as you like to live in the dark or consider the glow of a computer screen more romantic than candlelight. Real men don't burn candles, so if you're a real man or are looking to attract one...keep that in mind. Real men of today's generations burn plasma screens and liquid crystal displays......or cathode ray tubes (if they're old fashioned).

 

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