Lick's Picks (movie reviews): Adrenaline Rush

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Adrenaline Rush

If adrenaline-pumping action and adventure are your "thing," you just might find the movies you're looking for reviewed here. Let the heroes, bad guys and gals, their comic sidekicks, super-heroic support staff and the actors and actresses hoping for action/adventure stardom give you the escape and entertainment you've been lacking.

Faster than the law, stronger than a team of oxen and more indestructible than the most annoying of nuisances you can't seem to get rid of...ready, set---

Just cut to the action already, will you?! What are you waiting for?! Adventure doesn't usually just knock on your door, you know! (You either have to rent it, buy it or go see it in the theater. =p)

Lick Ratings Scale

300

4.5 Licks

2006

Rated R

Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, David Wenham, Vincent Regan, Dominic West, Rodrigo Santoro.

Historical inaccuracies are the only element holding this movie from a 5-lick rating , and yet those inaccuracies don’t stop you from enjoying all else that 300 has to offer in action, story and filming! This movie has everything you want to see in an action film with plenty of extra flair. The filming, color usage, visual effects, timing and motion slow-downs are superb in 300!

The battle scenes are noble, exciting and, of course…intensely bloody! Honor, glory, courage and unwavering determination make this a real uplifting movie, even amongst all the bloodshed.

If ever a true hero lived, it is the Spartan. One can’t help but envy their strength and determination, no matter the odds. These are what heroes and legends are made of…not the famed sports figures and actors/celebrities that so many view as role-models, champions and “heroes” of today.

After seeing 300, throw in the tiniest bit of personal motivation and you’ll feel you can do nearly anything, even if it means you may die trying! The important thing to remember is...at least you'll have had the courage (and sometimes insanity) to try, and that's what you'll be remembered for...if you're anything at all like a Spartan, that is!

10,000 B.C.

3 Licks

2008

Rated PG-13

Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis, Joel Virgel, Mona Hammond, Affif Ben Badra.

10,000 B.C. is a classic hero tale, wherein the hero isn’t so brave and determined in the beginning. A hero becomes what he or she does because of what is thrust upon him/her, and he or she does what is felt “must” be done even if it seems an impossible task doomed to failure.

A hero faces the odds and trudges onward. And like the best of any hero’s tale…the key motivating factor is that “whipped” feeling known as love. (Not to downplay the heroism or other factors playing into it, but let’s face it…love fuels an unmatched passion and determination.)

Of course, it doesn’t hurt to have that hint of romance for the testosterone-depraved portion of the audience (also known as females). If that still isn’t enough of a draw, ladies…think strong, prehistoric men with rippling arms, six-pack abs and attire that gives you flashes of a few chests you might want to acquaint your dreams with.

The action, adventure and suspense in 10,000 B.C. will keep you interested throughout the story, as you discover how an ordinary individual in ancient times becomes the hero he was meant to be. Maybe it will even give you hope that someday, you’ll be one of the heroes of your era!

On the downside: teeth-whitening. I highly doubt that prehistoric beings had a process for teeth-whitening or that their teeth stayed so white naturally; thus I couldn’t help but think how wrong it seemed on some actors that their character’s teeth were sooooo white! But for the coolness of the mammoths and saber-tooth tiger in the film, it’s okay to let the teeth-whitening and filled cavities issue slide…this time. ;)

Beowulf

4 Licks

2007

Rated PG-13

Robin Wright-Penn, Anthony Hopkins, Ray Winstone, Crispin Glover, Angelina Jolie.

A warrior known as Beowulf is lured to a castle whose king offers a reward for the man who kills the demon who’s been terrorizing his people. Upon that death, however, more blood is shed as the creature’s mother wreaks her vengeance. Making a secret devil’s bargain with her, Beowulf soon becomes king and all is well – for awhile anyway! But as with all devil’s bargains, the price will be paid in time…

As you get caught up in the story of Beowulf, you can’t help but notice how much some of these animated characters resemble their real-life acting counterparts. The animation in this action film is so great you nearly forget it’s actually just animation…not to say that animation is easy, of course.

The dragon itself and the scenes involving it are also pretty cool. Sometimes, it’s amazing what the entertainment industry can do with their tricks, treats, programs, ability and skill. An idea or concept is one thing, but a solid, impressive transformation of that onto screen and into story is a feat of which to take pride. To think, people get paid for that! Sure, it’s work, but onscreen it looks so much more fun than paperwork shuffling or manure-shoveling at an office forty hours per week!

Blood Simple Writers: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen. Director: Joel Coen.				3.75 Licks
	1985	Rated R	Frances McDormand, John Getz, Dan Hedaya, Holly Hunter.
	This movie serves as a superb foundation to the Coen brothers and their legacy of movie magic. Quirky, dark satirical spin on the "hire a hitman" storyline. The title is deceiving though. Blood is not as "simple" as it may sound, or else...it wouldn't be such a valued commodity, nor would the movie be so valued! If you're thinking of hiring a hitman, I highly recommend you see this movie and think again. A good hitman is hard to come by, and the perfect plan is always somehow a bit flawed from the start...seeing as "hitman" is generally not an accepted trade profession and you can't see them displayed in a department store window or take them for a test drive before you decide to buy!

Crimson Tide

3.5 Licks

1995

Rated R

Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington, Viggo Mortensen, George Dzundza, James Gandolfini, Matt Craven, Steve Zahn, Rick Schroder.

Crimson Tide is a great suspenseful film wherein military leadership of an American submarine clash over the validity of "launch" orders of their submarine's missiles. With two superb actors in the lead roles, this movie truly hits the mark and should've received some Oscars, though it was much overlooked in the Oscar award nominations.

Excelling in their lead roles are Gene Hackman as the Captain and Denzel Washington as his Lieutenant Commander. Both actors do a great job of portraying the inner conflicts of the individuals, as well as give you a real sense of the high tensions and conflicts that exist at times between two opposing "super powers"/countries. As unexpected problems arise to add even more tension and uncertainty to the chaos and crisis of the times, the lines of judgment are blurred and even leadership can disagree on interpretations and decisive action plans.

Earnote: If you like men in uniform...well, they have plenty of that, too! (Out of uniform could be even better, at least for some, but then it wouldn't be the same movie. That one would require some female officers and mermaids, not to mention, at least one "X" in its rating!)

Die Hard				4 Licks
	1988	Rated R	Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, Alan Rickman, Paul Gleason.
	Bruce Willis is a one-man "team" trying to rescue a group of hostages in a high-rise overtaken by terrorists who don't initially realize there's someone in the building trying to sabotage their plans. If I had to rely on a one-man "team" to rescue me, and it couldn't be an animated superhero, Willis's character John McClane would definitely be one I'd include on emergency speed dial! He's not only heroic, but he's great under pressure, with a witty remark always on the tip of his tongue! This edge-of-your-seat action film will fulfill your every need for adrenaline-pumping action!

Die Hard 2: Die Harder				3 Licks
	1990	Rated R	Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, Dennis Franz, John Amos, John Leguizamo, Vondie Curtis-Hall, Colm Meaney.
	This sequel is another action film that won't disappoint, but being that it's a sequel, isn't as fresh the second time around. The situation of this rescue seems even more unbelievable than the first, but hey....it's a movie, and as such...it certainly does entertain! After all, if all movies had to be real or based on what could "really" happen...well, they wouldn't be as entertaining, and we wouldn't need to watch them, as we would already be living them instead. And undoubtedly, there would most likely be a lot less action adventure, and too much reality...sort of like TV is overrun by the skewed, psychotic versions of what they like to dub "reality."

Die Hard: With a Vengeance (2nd sequel to *Die Hard*)				3 Licks
	1995	Rated R	Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Jeremy Irons.
	In the 2nd sequel of the Die Hard movies, John McClane is back to save the day as only he can...well, this time with the assistance of a partner played by Samuel L. Jackson. Plenty of fast-paced action for you adrenaline junkies out there, although again, this lacks the fresh factor of the original movie. However, by this 3rd time around, John McClane has moved up a few spaces on my emergency speed dial. After all, it's clear, he's got an array of experience on his rescue resume. If ever I am taken hostage on a path to the center of the Earth in an underground transport unit filled with enough explosives to blow up Earth's core...or maybe just Anna Nicole Smith's left breast...I'm calling John McClane! (Don't worry. It's the movies. I know my phone will still work, even in extreme temperatures and miles beneath the surface through the rock!)

Doom				1 Lick
	2005	Rated R	The Rock, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike.
	If you see this expecting it to be like watching a video game played out on a large screen...you'll enjoy this for what it is. Nothing more. Nothing less. Highlights of this movie include the "BFG," as well as a sequence of the movie done in first-person shooter mode that will make it feel like you, yes, YOU are back in front of your gaming system, playing Doom. Beyond those two things, there is not much to get excited about in Doom, unless you like ogling The Rock, who has yet to prove his brawn can really act. He does do a great impression of a rock, though. =p

Dukes of Hazzard, The

-1 Lick

2005

Rated PG-13

Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson, Burt Reynolds.

Pathetically poor attempt at a re-tread of the old Dukes of Hazzard TV series. If you were a fan of the show, you’ll find the movie an insult instead of a tribute or compliment.

These are not the Dukes that you remember. Sure, you may recognize the character names, the places and the hotrod car, but this is not the Hazzard County you recall.

First clue that this movie is all wrong, should’ve been that they cast Jessica Simpson in the role of Daisy Duke. (A ferret would’ve made a more convincing actress…in any role!) Second clue…that they kept Jessica Simpson in the role even after she allegedly refused to go brunette or don a brunette wig for the role.

Daisy Duke was hot, sexy…and yes, *gasp* she was a brunette! The fans deserved to see an authentic Daisy, not a blonde who probably can’t even spell her character’s name phonetically. Stick to singing, Jessica. Leave the acting to the real actors and actresses…the ones who actually believe in playing, acting and looking the parts they play.

Firm, The

3.5 Licks

1993

Rated R

Tom Cruise, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Gene Hackman, Hal Holbrook, Wilford Brimley, Ed Harris, Holly Hunter, Gary Busey, Paul Sorvino.

The Firm is an adrenaline-pumping thriller that will have you at the edge of your seat most of the movie. Though I did not read the John Grisham book this is adapted from – and it’s rare that a movie really does justice to the book it’s based on – I have a feeling this is one of those rare few. If not, and the book is that much better…then, it’s definitely a read we shouldn’t miss!

For those of you who already hate lawyers, well, this movie will only solidify your feelings on the majority of them. However, for every hundred or two bad lawyers, there is one young, fresh-from-law-school, eager guppy wanting to make a difference, not yet jaded or corrupted…at least not to the extent of the experienced lawyers and partners of many a law firm.

Tom Cruise plays that young, naïve guppy in The Firm, and he actually does quite well in the role, despite his usual image for just being a “pretty boy” actor at the time.

You will likely enjoy this movie, unless you’re a lawyer. And if you do enjoy it, I would advise against mentioning this when consulting a lawyer *wink*…unless, of course, you want to lose the case he or she is working on for you.

Ghost Rider

1.75 Licks

2007

Rated PG-13

Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Sam Elliott, Peter Fonda.

A daredevil motorcyclist known as Johnny Blaze (Cage) sells his soul to the devil (Fonda) to save a loved one, yet a devil never keeps his bargains though he always exacts his price. Years later, Johnny’s exacting the revenge of the devil as he collects souls for him. But when Johnny meets up with an old flame (Mendes), he dreams that he can reclaim his soul and beat the devil at his own game!

The special effects were good and though he’s neither the title character nor the devil, it’s Sam Elliott who shines in this film. Of course, it’s hard not to like Elliott as an actor…he’s one of a kind in look, sound and presence!

Other than that, there isn’t much to say about Ghost Rider, save for the fact that something about Nicolas Cage’s acting always bugs me and Eva Mendes…well, ditto for her. Both roles could’ve been better cast.

Gladiator				3.5 Licks
	2000	Rated R	Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed.
	Gladiator is a beautiful historical film from all aspects...scripting, acting, musical score, cinematography..... In fact, I could even stand to watch the ever self-satisfied Russell Crowe in this movie, which I can't say is often the case. Even his acting worked well in this particular film. And if I had to send someone back to ancient times to fight in some horrid battle scenes with even worse odds...who better than someone as supremely egomaniacal as a Russell Crowe?!

Goodfellas

3.5 Licks

1990

Rated R

Robert DeNiro, Ray Liotta, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Sorvino, Joe Pesci, Debi Mazar, Tony Sirico.

Goodfellas is a great movie with excellent casting!

With all the elements in a mob story, you really can’t give a mob tale less than at least 3 Licks. Then again, to avoid the possibility of a hitman coming after you, it should probably get 5 Licks. I’m going to live dangerously and gamble that a 3.5 Lick rating will be enough to at least keep me from getting more than a black eye or a few bruised ribs. After all, that’s still a great rating for any movie.

Goodfellas has all you expect to see in a mob tale: deception, lies, getting into and out of trouble, getting busted by the cops, getting off on technicalities, corruption, murder......

Mob families are never dull subject matter. Every once in awhile, we probably all wish we were that connected. Problem with a school bully? Boss hassling you? Fuhget ahbot it. Just send in the mob “muscle”. Problem solved.

Hoodwinked

3 Licks

2005

Rated PG

Voices of: Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close, James Belushi, David Ogden Stiers, Chazz Palminteri, Andy Dick.

Little Red Riding Hood isn't the innocent you'd think she is from the fairytales.

The story was fun and entertaining, although the "mystery" of the bad guy was obvious. They were all bad. Watch out for those fairytales of your childhood. Like you...they have shady pasts, too! *gasp*

Little Red's grandma should have gotten an Oscar for her facial expressions, for the years of training she must've gone through for the stunts she performed and...for not getting Botox injections during the filming of this movie. Nothing short of excellence! She's a fine wine, slightly uncorked with a hint of berry!

Hudson Hawk

4 Licks

1991

Rated R

Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, Andie MacDowell, Sandra Bernhard, James Coburn, Richard E. Grant.

What do you get when you mix singing thieves (an ex-con trying to go straight and his buddy), with a crazy, outlandish couple and an undercover nun? An action-packed comedy that will have you laughing even as the action keeps your heart pumping, especially given the cast and how well they mesh together. An instant cult classic.

Listen closely because almost every line in the movie has some underlying meaning that's sure to bring a smile, a chuckle...or maybe just a bubble of gas you pawn off as a smile!

This is one of Bruce Willis's best performances. This former Moonlighting star was born for comedy. Unlike the biblical Samson who lost his strength upon the loss of his hair, Willis's comedic strengths increase the further his hairline recedes!

Hulk (2003)

0 Licks

2003

Rated PG-13

Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott, Nick Nolte, Josh Lucas.

After a laboratory accident, a man is exposed to gamma radiation which makes him turn into an oversized green monster whenever he gets angry. (Sounds like any number of people involved in road rage incidents, huh? =p)

Though I have fond memories of the original TV series about the Incredible Hulk, I can’t say the same of this movie.

Story? Blah.
Actor Eric Bana as Dr. Banner? Not even close. No clue how he was cast for the role unless the only other competition came from someone’s shallow, useless pet rocks from the 1980’s. He made the character feel bland, empty, stiff and robotic, and in this instance……stiff is actually a bad thing. =p Maybe one of those rocks would’ve fit the role better after all…hmmm…
Effects? Okay, but not anything special about them.

Maybe because I’m "old school" enough to remember the original series, I’m predisposed to finding this movie seriously lacking. The animation and the look of the Hulk in the movie just never seemed "right."

I’d take Lou Ferrigno’s performance in the TV show as the original Hulk anytime over the misguided and misfired efforts and computerized effects of the team that worked on this film. They didn’t create "the" Hulk. They created a cheap shell of an imitation that any respectable knock-off store wouldn’t sell because it’s nowhere near what you’d expect of the real version. Sure, the monster they made was big, green and angry like the Hulk, but so are any number of average humans after an extremely bad day at work. =p

Incredible Hulk, The (2008)

1.5 Licks

2008

Rated PG-13

Edward Norton, Tim Roth, Liv Tyler, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson.

Dr. Bruce Banner has been laying low and attempting to hide from the military who wish to use his condition as some sort of weapon, even as he works toward finding a cure for the condition that causes him to turn into a big, green hulk of a monster when his anger gets the better of him.

Edward Norton is a much better choice for the role of Dr. Banner than Eric Bana was (in Hulk), but even Norton couldn’t save this movie from a poor review. Norton is the main reason this movie deserves any rating at all.

The story in The Incredible Hulk is a bit underwhelming, though it is better than the story found in its predecessor Hulk movie…not that it required much to top that. The special effects are also better, but not as good as they could’ve been…thus this movie may have had potential, but sadly only aspired to 1.5 Licks in the end.

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 Writer/Director: Quentin Tarantino

4 Licks

2003

Rated R

Uma Thurman, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Vivica A. Fox, David Carradine.

Tarantino is an original who never seems to run out of ideas or stories, with plenty of action and adventure, along with a number of plot twists along the way!

As the lead character, this is Uma Thurman's most kick-ass role. She's a woman with serious vengeance on her mind and nothing is going to stop her, not even the Crazy 88s, whom she single-handedly defeats in what has to be one of the best sword fights ever depicted! Blood and gore as only Tarantino can mastermind, with a great use of black and white versus color filming.

There's also some great samurai action. And by the end, you just can't wait to see Uma dish out some vengeance to the more than deserving, evil O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu).

Kill Bill: Vol. 2 Writer/Director: Quentin Tarantino

4 Licks

2004

Rated R

Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, Daryl Hannah, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Samuel L. Jackson.

This final part of a two-part story turns Kill Bill from over-the-top hack and slash/blood and gore to a definitive Tarantino tale, meaning...the blood and gore weren't just thrown in for box office ratings or because the stunt people were bored. Uma, who plays Beatrix Kiddo/Black Mamba, has some serious issues, and a bloodlust that's been building for quite some time, until finally...Beatrix can avenge all she feels she has lost.

She is methodical in her quest, exacting her own brand of justice and vengeance. In this movie, we see the cruel tutelage she suffers through to learn the skills she feels necessary, and exactly how committed she is to her chosen path. It helps you understand the driving need and anger of her character.

Even upon finding out she has not lost as much as she thought she has......she still goes through with her plan for vengeance. It almost doesn't seem right. But then, with all that she suffered to get to that point and how long her whole focus had been on vengeance, can anyone really blame her? Besides, it's a Tarantino movie, so how could you expect otherwise?! Awesome movie for Tarantino fans!

King Arthur				3 Licks
	2004	Rated PG-13	Clive Owen, Keira Knightley, Ioan Gruffudd, Stellan Skarsgard.
	This combination action/drama movie is not your typical King Arthur story. It gives an old story some great new twists. With Knightley in the role of Guinevere, Lady Guinevere has never been more hot, nor is she some whimpering, simpering female waiting to tend her wounded men returning from battle. She's out there with them, fighting as they do. Beware her aim! She has far better aim than it's been alleged some men have with their own attached tools of the trade.

King Kong

2 Licks

2005

Rated PG-13

Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody, Colin Hanks, Andy Serkis, Kyle Chandler.

Ignore the obvious "wrongs" in this movie...like how the object of Kong's desire, a femme fatale played by Watts, would come out alive and completely scratch-free, after being jostled about in King Kong's clutches as he trotted off with her through the vegetation, while being chased by and fending off dinosaurs. And ignore that voice inside you that wonders why dinosaurs would have any interest at all in a teeny, tiny human, when other fresh dead meat or smaller dinosaurs are so easily within reach for the starving dinosaur. Don't wonder how a 100-pound (give or take a few ounces) actress would satiate their hunger, even as a mere morsel of an appetizer.

If you ignore all that, and pretend you didn't see the vaudevillian dancing scene, well...you're on your way to entertainment. Remember, a movie's main purpose is to entertain. It is not to be "real" or to be reality-driven. Anyone who thought otherwise, especially when they read the title King Kong, or knew the story...well, what were they smoking, anyway?!

And those who expected more of this movie simply because it's directed by Peter Jackson (who also did the Lord of The Rings movies)? Well, get a grip! King Kong was never intended to be an Oscar-award-winning film that shattered all dramatic expectations, nor a story along the lines of LOTR or any "serious" epic.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

1 Lick

2001

Rated PG-13

Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight, Iain Glen, Daniel Craig, Noah Taylor.

Angelina Jolie makes a great Lara Croft! Many a gamer drooled over the game version of Lara, and now that she's been brought to life onscreen, the drooling continues.

Despite how "perfect" Angelina is for the role of Lara Croft, the movie plot was lacking...the story flow, uneven...and the acting, stiff.

Then again, to expect much of a movie based on a video game or computer game is foolhardy. The action and stunts are more the point...along with Lara's curves. If I were a male, I might have given this an extra lick...so there's at least one for each breast.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (sequel to Lara Croft: Tomb Raider)

1.5 Licks

2003

Rated PG-13

Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Chris Barrie, Ciaran Hinds, Noah Taylor.

Angelina Jolie still makes a great Lara Croft, as she has the look, the curves and the bad-ass attitude to pull it off.

The acting in this sequel seemed slightly better than in the original, but it's still...just a movie based on a video/computer game, so it's more about action and effects than storyline.

You might be better off skipping these movies, and instead finding and playing your old Tomb Raider games. I don't know about you, but I can already hear Lara's pained exclamations from taking a nasty hit or her labored breathing from a long run made. And yes, yes...who can forget the unlikely way her breasts moved when she ran in-game?

Lethal Weapon

3 Licks

1987

Rated R

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Darlene Love.

You will never be too old for this sh**...er, movie!

Glover plays a cop nearing retirement, who reluctantly ends up partnering with a suicidal, risk-taking, partially crazy cop played by Gibson. And though Gibson's character is not the most desired type of partner for any cop, let alone one nearing retirement...the partnership works out well. Of course, had it not worked out well, I would have been more than happy to partner with Gibson, so Glover could make it to retirement, worry-free. I'm neither an actress nor a cop, but I still would've made the selfless "sacrifice." *wink*

The camaraderie that starts out in this movie carries through in numerous sequels. You'll enjoy the action, laughs and witty banter. The Lethal Weapon movies are Lick's favorite "buddy cop" movies.

Lethal Weapon 2

4 Licks

1989

Rated R

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Patsy Kensit, Darlene Love, Joss Ackland.

The second film in the Lethal Weapon series of movies is action-packed with lots of tactfully scripted comic relief, making this the absolute best of the series!

Gibson and Glover give peak performances as the dynamic cop duo of Riggs and Murtaugh, with the addition of a con artist turned federal witness (under their protection) played by Joe Pesci also a great addition to the film. As the main villain who likes to play his "diplomatic immunity" card, Joss Ackland makes for a great untouchable bad guy! Joss proves you're never too old for this sh**...er, never too old to shine in a role, especially as an evil villain.

On another note, you might want to think twice about the next time you sit on a toilet. And if you ever consider buying a house on stilts, well......good luck to you! Just watch the movie, you villain! (Preferably not while seated on a toilet in a house on stilts. That might not be such a good omen.)

Lethal Weapon 3

2 Licks

1992

Rated R

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Darlene Love.

Gibson and Glover still have great camaraderie, but at this point, you wonder why Joe Pesci's character is still around. To say the least, his character starts to get annoying this time around.

The addition of Rene Russo as an Internal Affairs cop seems a mistake. As a tough but beautiful cop ---- somewhat of a female version of Riggs in some senses --- she may have been okay, but I didn't buy her as a love interest for Riggs (Gibson) and felt the chemistry just wasn't there. As for her and Riggs comparing wounds and scars in one scene that leads up to passion and steam? That might have worked had there been chemistry, but there wasn't; and therefore it felt contrived and forced, even had they been a pair of jaded cops in real life. I would've sooner bought a bridge you'd try to sell me than buy Russo and Gibson as cops in heat, passion or love.

Beyond that, there's still plenty of action in this sequel, and despite Murtaugh's complaints, he still isn't too old for this sh** and he hasn't retired quite yet!

Lethal Weapon 4

1.5 Licks

1998

Rated R

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Darlene Love, Chris Rock, Jet Li.

The 4th movie in the set, this one is much like the third, only slightly worse. Leo Getz (Pesci) is still hanging around, and it makes even less sense now than it did before. Russo is also still around, only worse this time, as she's wearing a prosthetic belly, her character now pregnant with hers and Riggs's spawn. There's just something wrong with prosthetic belly stunt work, cop or not.

Plenty of action as usual, with Gibson and Glover continuing to have great camaraderie. It's a shame that cast additions in these last few Lethal Weapons detracted from that enjoyment, rather than built upon it or added to it.

It's too bad Pesci and Russo weren't too old for this sh**. Had they not been in the series, the aging cop duo of Riggs and Murtaugh may have had a few more threatening and thriving Lethal Weapons in them.

Matrix, The				4 Licks
	1999	Rated R	Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Gloria Foster, Joe Pantoliano, Hugo Weaving.
	Mystery and action immediately capture one's interest, and the camera angles, shots and effects never before seen keep you on the edge of your seat. And besides, what action, sci-fi movie could go wrong with that much dark scenery in combination with all that black leather and vinyl?! Laurence Fishburne is calm, cool, collected and in control, playing his character Morpheus perfectly. You may find it odd, his "believing" in Keanu Reeves, er, Neo...but hey, Keanu actually did make a great Neo, even if you're not a fan of his usual performances. In addition, Hugo Weaving's Agent Smith is definitely a Smith worthy of recognition and remembrance in or out of The Matrix!

Matrix Reloaded, The (1st sequel to The Matrix)

3.5 Licks

2003

Rated R

Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Gloria Foster, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinkett Smith.

This first sequel to "The Matrix" boasts even cooler special effects than the first movie. The storyline wasn't quite as top notch though, thus a slightly lower Lick's Picks rating.

Now, were you to throw out the storyline as a component for review --- all the other pieces combined would have actually made this movie better than the first, especially due to the special effects and actors knowing their characters that much more intimately after having played them a longer time. Not to mention, there's still plenty of hot black leather and vinyl! Who didn't want to fantasy role-play Neo and Trinity?!

With the addition of Jada Pinkett Smith to the cast, I must say this: as far as Smiths go Agent Smith > Jada Pinkett Smith. For some reason, she's always seemed like an annoying pint-sized Jar Jar Binks to me, and I've never quite understood her appeal. And after seeing her here, I still don't...although I'll admit she plays her character just fine.

Matrix Revolutions, The (2nd sequel to The Matrix)				3.5 Licks
	2003	Rated R	Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinkett Smith, Mary Alice.
	Again, not as good as the first movie in this set, but still worth watching. See the review of "Matrix Reloaded, The" as that same review fits for this movie. And yes, to reiterate: Agent Smith > Jada Pinkett Smith.

Miami Vice

-1 Lick

2006

Rated R

Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Gong Li.

Movie based on the 1980’s TV series (also titled Miami Vice) about two Miami vice detectives named Sonny Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs.

Fans of the TV series will likely find this movie as complete and utter a disappointment as I did…also having been a fan of the original series.

Colin Ferrell is no Crockett, nor is Foxx Tubbs. At no point in the movie did I feel any cop duo chemistry between the two actors, nor was I ever into the plot itself. The movie seemed disjointed from the start. Poor introduction. Poor development. Without any feel of bonding or natural chemistry (or even artificially substituted chemistry =p) between the actors themselves and/or the characters as they portrayed them, this movie was doomed from the start.

Avoid this movie, especially if you’re a fan of the series. This movie in no way honors one’s memory and enjoyment of the original series, but degrades, belittles and demeans it by trying to sell us on this lackluster empty, cold shell of a poor imitation version of a designer original.

Sometimes, the best way to honor an original is to NOT attempt to recreate it…especially if you’re not detail-oriented enough to give those little details the time, attention and focus they need to make the recreation a smooth and believable transition or send-up of the original.

Mummy, The (1999)

4 Licks

1999

Rated PG-13

Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, Kevin J. O'Connor, Oded Fehr, Arnold Vosloo, John Hannah.

Treasure hunting, ancient forbidden love, Egyptian mummies and curses…need I say more?!

The Mummy is a must-see! Great story and awesome special effects, combined with a great mix of action, drama, comedy and even a bit of horror. There may even be a little romance, though in a tale involving mummies, some of you may classify that as horror in itself. Relax, it’s just Fraser and Weisz, neither of which are playing mummies…at least, not yet.

Mummy Returns, The (sequel to The Mummy)

3.75 Licks

2001

Rated PG-13

Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, Oded Fehr, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo.

See review for The Mummy (1999). All is much the same for this sequel, with only a slightly lower lick rating for story flow.

Okay, so maybe there are a few other differences…it’s years later and Fraser’s and Weisz’s characters are now married, having their somewhat bratty child along for the adventures this time around. Some might call that bad parenting, putting their own child at risk and in such danger, but hey…luckily, it’s just the movies, so they can get away with that!

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2nd sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse...)

2.5 Licks

2007

Rated PG-13

Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Bill Nighy, Geoffrey Rush, Keith Richards.

This third Pirates of the Caribbean movie was funny, but not as good as the first and only slightly better than the second. As cool as the whole Hollywood "hotties" role-playing pirates scenario may be, it's not as fresh or ingenious the third time around. There was also a noticeable discontinuity between the end of the 2nd movie and the start of this one, even though one would expect a smooth story flow, knowing this movie was planned and was filmed at the same time as the 2nd.

Depp, as always, is superb as Captain Jack! He makes a better drunken pirate than many a real drunken pirate throughout history. Knightley is still as hot as ever, as is Bloom! These three make pirates look good, even when you're fully sober and on dry land!

In At World's End, they did some creatively entertaining things with Depp's character Captain Jack, and it helped make the story --- at points --- not just another pirate tale, even though it often still felt like just another Pirates of the Caribbean tale. The camaraderie and comedy was there, but the disjointed transition between the 2nd movie and this one will likely leave you, as it did me...struggling to really get into and enjoy this story as much as you had hoped or expected.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

3 Licks

2003

Rated PG-13

Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush.

Casting was superb, the story rocked and this film was a mix of great acting along with the right amount of swash-buckling action interspersed with the right sprinkling of camaraderie and comic relief...and an endless supply of rum!

Depp makes other men want to be pirates, while Knightley and Bloom shine in their roles as well.

Warning: Just remember...piracy doesn't pay! Or at least, that's what the MPAA keeps saying! Guess they don't know any Caribbean pirates, and they haven't seen Depp's paychecks, huh? =p

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (1st sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse...)

2.25 Licks

2006

Rated PG-13

Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Bill Nighy, Geoffrey Rush.

This first sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl doesn't quite live up to the standards set by its predecessor. The storyline isn't quite as good as the first. However, in its own right, it's still worth watching, and sets the 3rd movie up nicely.

Unfortunately, this movie contains alcohol abuse. *gasp* They destroyed the rum. What kind of pirates are those?! A good pirate knows never to sacrifice the rum. In fact, one would even die just to protect the rum! Had they saved the rum, I may have rated this movie slightly higher than its 2.25 Licks.

Despite that, once again, Depp makes pirates sexy, no matter how despicable or selfish Captain Jack Sparrow is. However...sorry, guys...Knightley wore "men's garb" far too much instead of those body hugging, cleavage-inducing dresses of historical times. You'll still drool over her. You'll just require a smaller drool cup to catch the drops, unless she turns you on equally as much dressed as a pirate crewman.

Bill Nighy as the disturbingly evil Davy Jones (who looked like DNA testing would confirm him as half Octopus and half-sibling to Medusa) was also enjoyable casting, but I'd hate to be rum-goggling with him around!

Poseidon

2 Licks

2006

Rated PG-13

Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Jacinda Barrett, Emmy Rossum, Andre Braugher, Kevin Dillon.

A luxurious ship named Poseidon is flipped upside-down after being struck by a huge “rogue wave” in the middle of the ocean. Amongst the chaos and panic, trapped survivors must try to find a way out as they know death lingers near.

This is a great adrenaline-pumping, edge-of-your-seat action film, bordering on horror – wherein the evil “monster” is the ship itself. The action in Poseidon is enjoyable and I even like a character or two, especially the one whose primary focus is finding a way and leading the others to safety – determined and undeterred by obstacles met along the way and despite the deteriorating attitudes and fears of the others in the group.

Lack of character development is what holds this movie back. The hints of things happening and decisions made due to personal turmoil, conflict or situations is hard to follow or care much about, not knowing more about most of the characters themselves. 2 Licks is the rating given…for the number of the characters you might feel connected enough with to hope for their ultimate survival.

Pulp Fiction Writer/Director: Quentin Tarantino.

4 Licks

1994

Rated R

Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Tim Roth, Ving Rhames, Eric Stoltz, Amanda Plummer.

It's a Quentin Tarantino movie, what can you say?! With this movie, you'd think he was an understudy of Stanley Kubrick...and yes, that's a good thing!

Quentin's approach to the story-telling in non-sequential order works well in this movie, with the final scene neatly --- or as neatly as one can expect in classic Tarantino fashion --- tying everything together.

This is definitely not mainstream, and that's another reason to love this movie!

Welcome Back, Kotter...or rather, Vinnie, ahem, John Travolta, who finally makes a real and solid comeback with this movie. Vinnie Barbarino would definitely approve, as would the rest of the Sweathogs.

Uma should've kept the onyx-hued hair she had in this movie. The part she played seemed so not the typical Uma role a that time, and yet she totally nailed it, obviously making a fan and friend of Tarantino as the two work together again on other projects.

Reservoir Dogs Writer/Director: Quentin Tarantino.				4 Licks
	1992	Rated R	Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen, Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi, Chris Penn, Quentin Tarantino.
	The opening scene captures your interest immediately, leaving you with a number of unanswered questions which are slowly answered throughout the film, leading to more questions. Add to that the gory and gruesome scenes to come, which are like a few too many drops of Tabasco sauce in your chili. May be too much for those not into the more outrageous action/adventure flicks; but for many, the extra Tabasco creates the perfect spiciness to make this another great film satisfying all diehard action/adventure enthusiasts. Writer/Director Tarantino really developed his cult fan base with this movie. However, if you run into Mr Blonde someday, proceed with caution and guard your ears! If he took *Lick an Ear's* Ear Licker Name quiz, you can guarantee he wouldn't be labeled an Ear Licker!

Rise: Blood Hunter

4 Licks

2007

Rated R

Lucy Liu, James D’Arcy, Michael Chiklis, Carla Gugino, Robert Forster.

Action / horror vampire movie that’s not your typical story. Lucy Liu plays a woman turned vampire out for serious vengeance against both the individual man as well as the clan responsible for turning her into a vampire. To get to the man, she must first deal or dispense with the other clan members standing in her way.

Rise: Blood Hunter is somewhat reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill movies…only minus the crazy 88’s but plus a vampire twist. (Things seem even more similar, realizing Lucy Liu acted in both Rise and the Kill Bill movies.) In addition, the manner in which the story jumps back and forth, it also seems to have a Pulp Fiction-ish feel or influence.

This has to be Lucy Liu’s best career performance thus far. In one particular scene, it is obvious the personal anguish in the vampiric struggle she has trying to control her impulses (hunger or thirst for blood)…and losing the battle in a big way. Hating what she has become makes her all the more determined and dangerous in her quest for vengeance.

If you have an unnatural fascination with vampire movies and enjoy Tarantino-esque films, Rise: Blood Hunter may make a vampire (ahem…a satisfied movie watcher) of you!

Road House

1.25 Licks

1989

Rated R

Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara.

The only reason this movie gets any licks at all is for Sam Elliott. His character is great, and you have to appreciate the poetic fact of this particular line uttered by his character, "I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead." Won't we all?!

Other than that, fights break out, chairs are broken......you may as well have gone to a dive bar and at least gotten served a few drinks to watch the real action break out or to participate in it! See the blood and sweat splatter...feel the punches...hear the crack of broken bones...and then, finally get booted out by a real bouncer half your age and 4x as strong!

Save your money to use toward drinks or the cover charge. No need to rent this movie when you could be in your own updated version of it!

Romeo Must Die

1.25 Licks

2000

Rated R

Jet Li, Aaliyah, Delroy Lindo, Isaiah Washington.

Former cop/gang leader’s son (played by Jet Li) breaks out of a Chinese prison and travels to the U.S. in search of his brother’s killer. While out for vengeance, he gets caught in the middle of gang disputes and falls for a rival gang leader’s daughter whose brother is also killed.

This is allegedly an updated version of the "Romeo & Juliet" story, with a different spin. As I failed to see much of a romantic connection and completely failed to see any chemistry between the "Romeo" and "Juliet" equivalents of this movie, I say again…allegedly. As a tragic love story, this one fails miserably…if that were actually any major part of the plot.

Yes, Jet Li kicks ass. Yes, Jet Li has the action-packed, kick-ass moves for the fight scenes. However, if you’re a real fan of his, I recommend you watch another of his movies 2 or 3 times before you even think about bothering to watch this one. Exhaust yourself on the other movies, and only when you can’t stand to watch those anymore should you bother with this one.

The story is weak. The characters are primarily poorly developed to the point that you really don’t care who wins or loses…who lives or dies…who kicks ass or gets his ass kicked. In fact, if the DVD got scratched so badly somehow that you couldn’t finish watching it, well, so be it. You know how these types of movies end anyway.

Forget "Romeo." It’s this movie that must die!

Serenity

2 Licks

2005

Rated PG-13

Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, Summer Glau, Alan Tudyk, Adam Baldwin, Morena Baccarin, Sean Maher.

Futuristic governmental experimentation, a down-on-their-luck crew that doesn't always follow the law...and a pair of siblings on the run from more danger than the crew realizes when they allow them refuge on their ship --- all leads to more trouble than any of them expected, and this crew is used to danger!

Though the acting was less than desired, Serenity was relatively decent and the story "made sense." As far as action and adrenaline movies go, this one was just average. However, you probably have to like futuristic movies to enjoy this one even that much.

And, of course, for the guys, it helps that the females cast in the roles are pretty cute......or so I'm told by the male species. =p In fact, maybe the guys would rate this an extra .5 for "cute chick factor."

Speed				2.25 Licks
	1994	Rated R	Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper, Joe Morton, Jeff Daniels.
	The remote hostage for ransom idea is unique in this movie, and as always, Hopper is an excellent madman! Reeves and Bullock do an okay job of playing on the action, but it could've been better. Then again, the concept of a madman having planted explosives on a bus, wiring them to blow up if the bus falls under a speed of 50 mph is a hard sell for any audience from the start. Even madmen have their limitations. Once you get past the improbabilities, this is definitely a unique adrenaline-booster, even if not one of the best.

Speed 2: Cruise Control

0 Licks

1997

Rated PG-13

Sandra Bullock, Joe Morton, Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe.

You can tell this is a lame-duck sequel even without having to see it. It's like Milli Vanilli after everyone found out they were just lip-synching stage dressing without the lettuce, vocals and backup!

I can sum it up in 2 words: It sucks!

In case 2 words weren't enough for you, here are 9 more: What the hell were they thinking making this sequel?!

Spider-Man

3.5 Licks

2002

Rated PG-13

Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, Cliff Robertson, Rosemary Harris, James Franco.

Even as unlikely as it seemed when first heard Tobey Maguire was chosen for the role, he surprises all by giving such a key performance that he convinces us he really is Peter Parker (aka Spider-Man).

After a bite from an altered spider affects Peter Parker, he slowly begins to learn his new super powers through a "trial and error" process. As the movie unfolds, you get a sense of his own discomfort and uncertainty as he discovers his own powers, yet struggles to come to terms with the changes --- his own initial lack of confidence causing more failures than successes in the beginning. This lends Spider-Man a "real" and human quality many superheroes lack in film, and binds you more to the character, knowing that even superheroes are less than perfect...and even they have doubts, fears, heartfelt emotions and inner struggles.

The action sequences are well placed and enjoyable to watch. And the scenes in which Spidey flies through the air will make you wish you were bitten by that same genetically altered spider, just so you could fly without relying on airplanes, helicopters, hot air balloons, parachutes, (being tied like a cartoon character to) cannonballs or mind-altering drugs you're not sure you have a prescription for or not!

If you see one superhero movie, make it this one! Not only is the action and story great, but there's even some romance with the lovely Kirsten Dunst (as Mary Jane Watson) to make this a great movie for "date night."

Spider-Man 2

3 Licks

2004

Rated PG-13

Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Alfred Molina, Willem Dafoe, Rosemary Harris, James Franco, Cliff Robertson.

In this sequel, Tobey Maguire proves even more he really is Peter Parker (aka Spider-Man), even though in everyday life, I am told he still looks nothing like a spider, nor does he ever seem to have cobwebs on his attire in public appearances.

Spider-Man continues struggling to come to terms with many things in this movie, in addition to suffering a great deal of internal conflict and angst over the changes he's undergone and how that single spider bite affects him and those for whom he cares most. As the continuing turmoil causes Spider-Man to lose his powers, he struggles to figure out what happened and how to regain those powers. Just as before, this gives him that same "real" and "human" quality as in the first movie.

As for Spidey's adversary, "Dr Octopus," the character is just plain cool, and the suit Alfred Molina wears as that character is probably something many wish they had. Not only is the octopus suit quite impressive and handy for any evil mastermind, but it would also be a quick way to lose 75 pounds or so by simply taking the suit off! No diet or exercise required.

Now for those into romance, fret not. Spider-Man is all heart when it comes to one woman; and Mary Jane, apparently, is a bit more into webs and spiders than you'd expect of such a hottie. (She must be hiding a few pocket protectors and pairs of taped-up glasses in her closet.)

Spider-Man 3

4 Licks

2007

Rated PG-13

Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Rosemary Harris, Topher Grace, J.K. Simmons.

It's often hard to find a sequel one likes more than the original, but both of the sequels so far in the Spider-Man series of movies have accomplished the task with great success! Though Spider-Man 2 was better than the first, 3 is the best one yet!

No superhero has seemed as real and human as Spider-Man/Peter Parker (played so well by Tobey Maguire), and that feeling of human weakness and vulnerability is even more evident in Spider-Man 3. Even superheroes can fall from grace, struggle with their feelings/emotions and stumble upon the wrong path no matter how good they feel their intentions are. Even superheroes can fall prey to that desire for vengeance when it seems the system failed them or let them down on a personal matter so close to their own hearts.

We --- as humans --- can relate to the humanity, the pain and the struggle, and it makes Spider-Man all the better a hero to us for bearing witness to his struggles along the way. We see Spidey's darker side, and are drawn to it even as we root for the superhero to re-emerge and set things right. It gives us hope that even in our own darkness, we can find our way and emerge a hero on some level ourselves.

Thomas Haden Church plays the Sandman villain that Spider-Man battles in this sequel, and as Spidey is trying to shake off the sand that got everywhere after a battle with him, you can't help but laugh as Spidey voices what we're all wondering at one time or other of the villains in superhero movies, "Where do these guys come from?!"

Spy Game

4.5 Licks

2001

Rated R

Robert Redford, Brad Pitt, Catherine McCormack.

Spy Game didn’t receive as much acclaim as it should have in theaters. It’s a great spy story with excellent acting, especially by Robert Redford. Even those skeptical of Brad Pitt’s abilities will likely agree this was one of his better roles.

This is a mentor / protégé story, wherein Redford plays the mentor (a retiring CIA operative) teaching a protégé (played by Brad Pitt) everything he knows about the spy business, based on his own experiences in it. When his protégé lands himself in trouble, Redford’s character reflects on his past teachings and experiences with him, while finding a way to fix things…all on his last day as an operative.

This is a sort of passing the torch story, almost like a Hollywood metaphor with the older Hollywood (Redford) passing the torch to a younger generation of actors, represented by Pitt. Who better to pass that acting torch than Robert Redford, who’s highly respected and revered in the industry?!

The inquisition scene where Redford’s character makes up various details until a full story develops is great! Everything he says seems fairly plausible, thus he obviously knows the Spy Game well.

Superman Returns

2.5 Licks

2006

Rated PG-13

Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Parker Posey, Eva Marie Saint, Peta Wilson.

For a movie made so many years after the original Superman movies, it’s nice to see that they molded this story to follow the original set of Superman movies.

Everything else about this movie – save for Kevin Spacey – is just average. Spacey as Lex Luthor is pure evil genius. Not only is Spacey a great actor, but he really “owns” when it comes to bad guy roles, especially when that bad guy is a mastermind of evil.

True Romance Writer: Quentin Tarantino.				3.25 Licks
	1993	Rated R	Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Val Kilmer, Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, Samuel L. Jackson.
	The writing is in true Quentin Tarantino fashion, and is an accurate representation of his darkly disturbing, off-beat, unique and edgy style. Well worth seeing, especially for any Tarantino fan! There's a lot of "romance" in gruesome darkness...just not the candlelight and rose petals kind! =p

Twister

-1 Lick

1996

Rated PG-13

Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, Cary Elwes, Alan Ruck, Jami Gertz, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jake Busey.

If you really want to experience a "twister," do it the right way...move to "tornado alley" or any place in the Midwest that has a great deal of heat and humidity in the summer. Chances are, if you stay there long enough, you'll at least experience a tornado watch or warning, and possibly even be in the direct path of one. And if you really want, when you are warned of a tornado and told to "take cover," go chase that tornado they just mentioned.

Not brave (or stupid enough) to chase that tornado? Then, go to a theme park and experience aspects of a "virtual" tornado. Or even read up on the subject and create your own weakened version of a tornado. Hmm, or maybe just drink a tornado. There has to be a drink called that, as it certainly sounds like a great drink name for something with a sharp potency to it!

As for the movie, the acting is stilted, the scripting is pitiful and the plot is tornadic. The acting would've been better if they'd replaced the actors with actual tornado chasers and people who've lived through tornadoes. You could watch this for the effects, but not even the flying cow can save this movie. In fact, the best end to this movie would've been if the film had actually been in that cow when the tornado sucked it up.

V for Vendetta

2 Licks

2005

Rated R

Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, John Hurt, Stephen Rea.

V for Vendetta is one of those scary looks into a dark, grim future where terrorism, harsh government rule and terror reign. "V" is a vigilante unwilling to stand idly by, but he’s an odd sort of "hero" who’s definitely more intelligent and well-spoken than your average vigilante / "hero."

The action in this movie was fun, but the elements of the story can become confusing, and often out there. However, in this case, the out there stuff is not as enjoyable as that of other movies.

This isn’t a movie for the mainstream movie-goer, nor should you watch this at a time you’re unable to concentrate or comprehend much due to having had a particularly rough day or week.

If not for a rather poor ending, V for Vendetta could've received an extra lick.

Wanted

4 Licks

2008

Rated R

James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie, Terence Stamp.

A backboneless, witless slacker guy’s life is transformed upon the death of his estranged father, when an elite team of crime-fighting assassins recruits him to avenge his father’s murder. With the team’s tutelage, Wesley (McAvoy) discovers extraordinary skills he never knew he had even as he begins to wonder how genuine the team’s motives really are.

Despite the whole concept of transforming a complete underachieving slacker into an extraordinarily skilled assassin in such a speed-freakishly short amount of time and the unbelievably fantastical things these assassins can do…if you can forgive or overlook the unrealities and appreciate the fantasy of the entertainment world, this movie is supreme! If not, shut-up and let those who can watch this movie without any snide remarks or “harrumphs” about how impossible a concept it is.

If you’re an action and adrenaline-junkie, there’s plenty here for you to enjoy! In addition, McAvoy’s narration really adds to the telling of this tale and seemingly “speaks” directly to you as he talks to the camera. There’s also some good camera work in this film that one might even dub somewhat unique at points.

Ultimately, there is a message to this film about taking control or responsibility of your own destiny. It’s a lesson that bears reminding to us all at some point or other, but this film does it in a way in which is much more enjoyable and enthralling than the parental lectures of one’s youth or ruler snaps of those strict nuns rumored to be of many a catholic school past.

You’ll have to discover it for yourself, but I will tell you this…as just another average, ordinary human usually flying well below the radar of notice, I absolutely loved the last line! Reflective. Quotable. A genius of an ending!

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