|
Lick Ratings Scale
|
11:14 |
4
Licks |
|
|
2003 |
Rated R |
Henry Thomas, Patrick
Swayze, Barbara Hershey, Rachael Leigh Cook, Hilary Swank, Clark
Gregg, Colin Hanks. |
|
|
This movie deserves a lot more notice
and accolades than it received. Superb dark comedy involving multiple
storylines all converging at one point in time. The movie opens with
an accident that occurs at 11:14pm, and backtracks from there to show events that lead up to that fateful
moment impacting so many both directly and indirectly.
Robbery, murder, scams, lies and
deceit…what more could you want in a dark comedy?! Drunk driving?
Juvenile delinquency? Death? Dismemberment? Misinterpretations?
Small-town cop trying to make sense of it all?
Really? Well, if that’s what you want,
you may be demented and others may think your sick sense of humor
requires therapy, but hey, that’s awesome…because it means you’ll love
this movie!!
Watching
11:14
unravel the stories from various individual perspectives, wondering
just how or why each story somehow has a connection to the events that
unfold one night around 11:14pm will leave you well entertained and
amused.
Warning:
Not all things are as they appear in your rearview mirror. Or maybe
they are. I’m not telling. Just watch the movie and be glad you’re
only a spectator! |
|
40 Days and 40 Nights |
1 Lick |
| |
2002 |
Rated R |
Josh Hartnett,
Shannyn Sossamon, Maggie Gyllenhaal. |
| |
Pretentious
comedy of a young, single man giving up sex for Lent, as if to say
he's really so hot he gets offers nearly every night. If it wasn't for
his dorky hair, maybe he would, but with hair like that and his suave
"I'm all that" airs, I didn't buy it...and was even more sorry I paid
to see it.
Shave your head
or get a new hairdresser, Josh. You look like a 6-year-old whose mom
still gives him the "bowl haircut" or some other variation
of a cheap cut you still paid too much to get! Try a mullet, at least it would
give you some depth, even if it's just hair. |
|
40 Year-Old Virgin, The |
3
Licks |
|
|
2005 |
Rated R |
Steve Carell, Paul Rudd,
Catherine Keener, Elizabeth Banks. |
|
|
The 40 Year-Old Virgin
is often vulgar with a lot of
swearing, but if you can stand that…you’ll find this movie hilarious!
(For those of you who can’t take the vulgar language, you won’t make
it through this movie…so don’t even try. Trust me on this.) Of course,
if you were a 40-year-old virgin, you could probably understand the
vulgar language and the frustrations or need for such dialogue.
Carell is perfect as the virgin. As I
watched this movie, I really believed he had never had sex before. And
I still don’t think he has in reality! Well, you know what I mean.
That’s either great acting or a sad
commentary on the state of things in his own personal “office.”
40-year-old virgins, virginettes and born-again virgins, you
make the call! No matter the state of your sexual life, you’ll enjoy
this movie and it will probably make you feel better about your own
situations…and positions (for those of you that have had some and
“gotten some” *wink*). |
|
American Dreamz |
0
Licks |
|
|
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Hugh Grant, Mandy Moore,
Dennis Quaid, Willem Dafoe, Chris Klein. |
|
|
American Dreamz is a satire on the reality show generation, wherein people are
seemingly more interested in watching a bunch of loser dreamers on
stage than in facing the realities of the world around them or in
being part of that world and what goes on in it.
In American Dreamz, even the
president (played by Quaid) is clueless! (Some days, that doesn’t seem
like such a stretch. =p) Hoping to improve his popularity
ratings, the president is set to judge the final two contestants on
the "American Dreamz" show. The show itself is hosted by a weary but
now rich host (Grant) and some of its contestants are chosen to
maximize ratings, diversity and drama…regardless of their talent or
lack thereof.
Are we sure this is a satire? It
sounds like a normal reality show to me. =p Then again, I am no
fan of the reality show genre, so to be fair, take my rating for what
it’s worth. Maybe you have to be a fan of the reality show genre in
order to appreciate this satire of it.
As for me, I couldn’t enjoy it less.
Or maybe I could, but not much less. Mandy Moore (who plays one of the
top contestants) is not a convincing actress to me. Sure, she can
sing, but the movie focuses on a reality show and therefore its
contestants aren’t supposed to be professional at that. In addition,
the intended comedy was pretty much all played out in the commercials
or previews seen prior to paying to watch this.
If you’re not a reality show fan, this
is probably not "your movie." |
|
American Pie |
3.5
Licks |
| |
1999 |
Rated R |
Jason Biggs, Mena Suvari, Alyson
Hannigan, Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Shannon Elizabeth, Seann William
Scott, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Natasha Lyonne, Eugene
Levy, Jennifer Coolidge. |
| |
Four guys dead-set on losing their
virginity by senior prom night...an obvious must see! This movie is so
entertaining that it keeps you laughing even when you think you can
laugh no more. With as contagious as that laughter is, it has caused
more than a few belly-aches, so don't be surprised if you find
yourself experiencing one! You will find a little of yourself in
each character in this movie, no matter who you are or which sex you
are. If you're lucky, though, you'll be less Jim Levenstein
(played by Jason Biggs) and more everyone else. However, if you have
to be Jim, just hope your dad is or was as understanding as
his!
My husband insists that I mention the hot women in the movie. (I
think he was having a Jim Levenstein moment when he said that.)
So, for all you men, yes, there are some hot chicks in the movie,
including a hot foreign girl with a sexy accent (played by Shannon
Elizabeth). Oh, and don't forget about the "MILF"!
P.S. Watch out for fresh, warm pies......They're not as innocent as
they look, and neither are the nerdy band camp girls! |
|
American Pie 2 |
2 Licks |
| |
2001 |
Rated R |
Jason Biggs, Mena Suvari, Alyson
Hannigan, Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Shannon Elizabeth, Seann William
Scott, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Natasha Lyonne, Eugene
Levy, Jennifer Coolidge, Casey Affleck. |
| |
This is a good follow-up to American
Pie, though not as original nor quite as funny. You'll still laugh
quite a bit, but the humor and jokes are much the same as in the first
movie. This is also much the same storyline as the first, so you may
find it wears on you a bit this time around. In this sequel, the
guys have all made it through a year of college and are reuniting for
a summer of partying, fun and friendship. And quite a summer it is!
Once again, Levenstein has his moments, and as before, his dad
(played by Eugene Levy) handles them much better than yours probably
handled anything you did at any age.
Just remember, no matter how hard it is, please try to keep the
super-glue out of your toy box. You might thank me for this later. |
|
American Wedding
(2nd sequel to American Pie) |
3 Licks |
| |
2003 |
Rated R |
Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Seann
William Scott, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eugene Levy,
Fred Willard, Jennifer Coolidge. |
| |
Buttless chaps. French
maid. Whip. Blindfold. Bachelor party. If
the above isn't enough to get you to watch this movie, you should
probably check your temperature. You might be sick. However, if you
need more convincing, you'll be happy to note that a change in the
storyline makes this 2nd sequel better than the previous one. The guys
are growing up...or at least some of them are. As the title indicates,
there's going to be a wedding.
The opening scene begins at a restaurant, where Michelle
Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan) and Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs)
become engaged. This scene alone makes the whole movie worth
seeing...trust me! Once you've seen it, you can just imagine these two
characters in the future trying to respond when asked of the details
around their engagement story. Their story likely makes most others
tame in comparison.
The only downfall in this sequel is Stiffler. You'll
probably find him a bit annoying in this movie, with his overdone
attitude and penchant for cussing nearly every other word for awhile.
However, at some point, Finch and Stiffler do a
character swap in personality, and that was great writing! Now, to the
reason for their personality swap? All misguided attempts to impress a
hot chick, of course! So, yes, there are still plenty of hot chicks
for you in this sequel. (I already mentioned the French maid,
remember?!) |
|
Big Bounce, The |
0.5
Licks |
|
|
2004 |
Rated PG-13 |
Owen Wilson, Charlie
Sheen, Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinise, Sara Foster. |
|
|
With the diverse personalities cast in
this film, it had a good chance to be an entertaining and unique film.
However, those personalities and acting quirks were never fully
utilized or capitalized in this film.
The story wasn’t as fun as it could’ve
been. The lines weren’t as entertaining as they should’ve been.
Then, there’s the casting of the
female lead…a role that went to former model Sara Foster. Had they
chosen a real actress, this movie would’ve had a fighting chance to be
worth something. However, Foster as the female lead sunk this movie.
She lacked believability, depth, genuine understanding of personality,
character and chemistry with Owen Wilson.
Other than the sex, it’s hard to see
why Wilson’s character would want to have any sort of relationship or
antics with her. Even the sex was a questionable reason as it seemed
rather cold, empty shell-ish and completely contrived. A blow-up doll
would’ve been warmer, more animated and probably more desirable in her
talents. |
|
Big Lebowski, The
Writers: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen. Director: Joel
Coen. |
4 Licks |
| |
1998 |
Rated R |
Jeff
Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour
Hoffman, Tara Reid, John Turturro, Flea. |
| |
This is
one of those movies you end up quoting with your friends for years to
come! You will love this movie if you're a fan of quirky, oddball
films with many uproarious plot twists, especially if you're a Coen
brothers fan!
Kudos to the casting direction of
this film. Each role was superbly cast and well acted. Before seeing
this movie, I hadn't thought of Jeff Bridges as "the dude"...but
his character defined the term as none before, and he really is "the
dude" to be...Jeffrey The Dude Lebowski - NOT to be
mistaken with the Jeffrey Lebowski, supporter and savior
of the "Little Lebowski Urban Achievers," "youth of promise."
If I had a "myspace" site, Steve Buscemi would be listed as
one of my heroes. You just have to love the supporting-role characters
he plays! He may not be the suave, handsome, romantic leading man type,
but unlike many a cocky, arrogant overpaid and under-acting
blockbuster lead...he has never disappointed yet. His performances are
always solid and characters generally offbeat but easily likeable,
even when he's one of the bad guys.
In this movie, Buscemi plays the none-too-sharp Donny,
who is as usual, an enjoyable character to have around...even if
someone tells him to shut up a few hundred times or so.
Get out your bowling ball, if you have one. When this movie is
done, you just may feel like bowling a few frames...even if, like
Donny...you're out of your league (...your bowling league,
that is)! =p |
|
Brady Bunch Movie, The |
3.25 Licks |
| |
1995 |
Rated PG-13 |
Shelley Long, Gary
Cole, Michael McKean, Jean Smart, Christine Taylor, with cameos by
some original series cast members. |
| |
Did you or your
kids grow up watching the Brady's? Did you want your kids or grandkids
to experience a show where everything neatly tied together by the end
of each episode? If so, this is a must-see!
Shelley Long makes a great Carol
Brady, and Gary Cole is an equally perfect Mike Brady. Most of those
cast in the roles of the Brady children also look and/or sound
remarkably authentic. This movie "tribute" of the show may take the
Brady's into the 1990's, but they're still obviously stuck in the
"groovy" 1970's and it makes this a fun movie to watch without the need for
serious thought or concentration.
Youngsters will enjoy this show,
but so will you adults, as the innuendos fly forth in abundance,
especially between Sam (the Butcher) and housekeeper Alice.
Sam knows
his meat...and so does Alice!
On the
downside, if your name is Jan, you probably won't like this movie.
"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Why's it always Marcia?!" Don't worry
Jan, just like the show, Marcia still took a ball to the
nose in the movie. At least they didn't make you her stunt double! |
|
Break-Up, The |
3 Licks |
| |
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Judy
Davis, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ann-Margret, Jason Bateman, Jon Favreau,
Joey Lauren Adams. |
| |
Vince Vaughn was
perfectly cast for his role as a down-to-earth, typical "guy." He is
easily relatable to any man as he's no "pretty boy" prima donna actor,
but carries a more "average Joe" demeanor that somehow works for him.
He's not your hot, handsome leading man type, but what he lacks in
hotness, he makes up for in a personality that is oddly charming.
Jennifer Aniston's prior experience
in roles much like the one she plays here, clearly helped her nail
this role. And incidentally, not only can Ross say they were "on a
break," but now...so can Vaughn!
Great relationship movie! You can
watch this and relate to having been in some of those same situations
and/or arguments, only in watching this...maybe you'll see why it's
important to say what you mean instead of leaving it up for
interpretation. Remember, women are complicated, and most men can't
afford interpreters to read our minds.
Women, if you
want your date, male friend or significant other to see this movie,
simply remind him that he'll get to see Jennifer Aniston's cute butt.
And if he's not too busy drooling in anticipation, he may just learn
something from the movie. (Just don't tell him that part or he'll
never watch the movie.) |
|
Bruce Almighty |
3.25 Licks |
| |
2003 |
Rated PG-13 |
Jim Carrey, Jennifer
Aniston, Morgan Freeman, Catherine Bell, Nora Dunn, Steve Carell. |
| |
Jim Carrey playing God?! I'm sure that's
someone's version of a nightmare, but in the movie, it's more of a
dream, especially for you men out there. In the fictional realm, who
could have more fun or be more outrageous a God than Jim Carrey?!
Before the story ends, he may learn some lessons and find out it's not
easy being God, but the learning curve (or artificially
enhancing Aniston's learning curves) has its delights, uses and
pleasures, as well as makes for some interesting experiments and
diversions.
Carrey may have even taught an old dog new tricks...and, no, I'm
not referring to Aniston when I say that. Although, I'm sure she has a
few of you woofing and drooling, especially as her boobs miraculously
grow overnight, as if ch-ch-ch-Chia-boobs. Hmm, now if only
she'd been playing God, I wonder what she'd have made bigger?! *whistles
innocently* |
|
Bull Durham |
4 Licks |
| |
1988 |
Rated R |
Kevin
Costner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins. |
| |
Hilarious movie with a healthy dose of
sports, laughs and even romance! Kevin Costner in a romantic comedy
baseball movie?! If that were a genre, Costner would clearly "own" it,
with as many movies as he's done that combine romance, comedy and
baseball. Bull Durham's success was a definite precursor to
the number of other baseball comedies that have been made in its wake,
and yet, this one still reigns supreme. Bull Durham made
baseball "sexy."
Don't believe me? Then, watch it, and be sure to pay special
attention to Crash Davis's (Costner) "I believe..."
speech to Annie (played by Susan Sarandon). You'll be as
breathless as Annie, thinking, "...oh, my!" (After that
scene, maybe 4 Licks isn't enough......) |
|
Clerks
Writer/Director: Kevin
Smith |
2
Licks |
|
|
1994 |
Rated R |
Brian O’Halloran, Jeff
Anderson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith. |
|
|
A convenience store clerk gets called
into work on his day off. His day goes from bad to worse between
things going wrong, personal problems, customers and their own issues
and tales, etc., etc.....not to mention, it isn’t looking like he’s
going to make that hockey game he’s supposed to play later in the day.
This black and white film has a good
documentary type feel to it as you listen in on one convenience store
clerk’s day. The acting, however, is completely unimpressive.
If you’re a convenience store clerk or
enjoy watching, stalking, bugging or dating small-town loser clerks,
you shouldn’t miss this movie. Not all convenience and video store
clerks are losers, of course, but the two showcased in this film
certainly fit the stereotype. |
|
Click |
2
Licks |
| |
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Adam Sandler, Kate
Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, Henry Winkler, Julie Kavner, Sean
Astin, David Hasselhoff. |
| |
A remote control for use in our everyday
lives? Rewind to relive special moments? Fast forward to
skip through fights, boring parts and the sadness or ugliness we'd
rather miss? Pause, so you can wreak havoc once in awhile? Sign
us all up! After all, haven't we all thought about how nice that would
be on occasion? Know someone who tells long, boring stories with no
real point to them? Not a problem with that new remote control that
only someone like Christopher Walken could give you! Click. I
just skipped the boring parts. Click.
It's a great concept for an Adam Sandler comedy, however, this
movie tries to send a serious message and turns the comedy into too
much drama - and drama isn't necessarily Sandler's forte. The message
of how one should enjoy and "live" every moment, even the ones that
hurt or that we'd rather not recall, is beaten "home" a little too
hard. (My dad had more tact and diplomacy even in the harshest of his
lectures to an errant teen.)
As the comedy turns more and more serious in its moral message, you
almost feel as if you have Ray Barone's wife (from Everybody
Loves Raymond) harping at you, at the same time as you have
Rocky pummeling you, "The Rock" crushing you and Fran Drescher
whining directly in your ear while some god-awful song keeps playing
that makes you want to bang your head on the wall repeatedly until you
find the "bliss" of unconsciousness.
On a better note, the costume and makeup crew do a tremendous job
with "aging" most of the characters throughout the story. Most have an
authenticity to their wrinkles, weight and costuming...and that has
nothing to do with their real ages or genetics*.
However, with Sandler, it's as if they have "kid gloves" on. They seem
to have forgotten that if you're going to make a character extremely
obese...to be believable, you can't forget the importance of applying
that same eye-for-detail and attentiveness when focusing on the facial
features. Not even Sean Connery's face could've been so unaffected by
such obesity as Sandler's is in this movie.
*Earnote:
Somehow, Hollywood always seems to age better in real life than the
average person, but many are certainly paid well enough to manage it -
one way or another - of course. Poor 'Mother Nature' is no match for
botox, face lifts, tummy tucks, hair coloring, liposuction, plastic
surgery, permanent makeup...... |
|
Devil
Wears Prada, The |
1 Lick |
| |
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Meryl Streep, Anne
Hathaway, Stanley Tucci, Emly Blunt, Adrian Grenier. |
| |
You don't need to see the movie to know
the devil probably does wear spiked heels, though I'm not sure if
they're "Prada" or something a little more affordable. I haven't
shopped in hell yet, although the stores around the holidays may
resemble the experience. As for the movie, Meryl Streep is the only
reason to bother watching any part of it. If not for Streep, this
movie wouldn't even get 1 Lick. Streep's performance as the
bitchy, demanding fashion editor is perfect. She's the kind of boss we
all love to hate, and yet love to watch make others squirm.
As for the "fashion disappointment" found in the bright-eyed second
assistant Streep's character hires, I find Anne Hathaway as
disappointing as her coworkers find her fashions. I have yet to see
the appeal the casting directors apparently do in any of Anne
Hathaway's acting.
I don't think the devil is into "Prada" at all, but I do think the
devil made someone make this movie just to torture the fashion
industry...and the people on planes who get stuck watching it! |
|
Dogma |
4.5
Licks |
| |
1999 |
Rated R |
Ben Affleck, Matt
Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, Chris Rock, Blair Brown, Alanis
Morissette, Janeane Garofalo, Kevin Smith, Jason Lee, George Carlin,
Alan Rickman, Jason Mewes. |
| |
With as unique a "never been told before"
story this is, I had to start this movie out with at least 3 licks for
that alone! Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, though not normally
categorized as good actors, do a good job in their roles as
Bartleby and Loki. Add in Jay and Silent Bob,
a trio of hockey-stick-wielding demons, George Carlin as a religious Cardinal, Alanis Morissette as God...and you're not only scratching your
head wondering where they came up with this stuff, but you're enjoying
it immensely, hoping it never ends!
Mix it all together, rim it with salt and you've got not only a
great margarita, but a good story with a little salt, a handful of
tortilla chips and plenty of salsa! And if you don't have that, maybe
you should! George Carlin...a religious Cardinal?! Alanis Morissette...God?!
Clearly, they were as inebriated as I wish I was right now when they
wrote and cast this film, but you wouldn't have it any other way! It
really does work for Dogma, or I wouldn't have given it 4.5
Licks. This one's worth buying so you can watch it again and
again! |
|
Drop Dead Gorgeous |
4.5 Licks |
| |
1999 |
Rated PG-13 |
Kirsten Dunst,
Kirstie Alley, Denise Richards, Ellen Barkin, Allison Janney, Brittany
Murphy, Will Sasso, Mo Gaffney, Nora Dunn. |
| |
Finally, a movie poking fun at an industry
that's been begging for it...the teen pageantry industry. Set in a
small fictional town in Minnesota, this movie is hilarious!
If
you've ever watched those small town teen princesses or even the "Mrs."
state pageantry events, you'll love this movie! And if you've ever
been crowned one or the other, you probably know just exactly how much
material they had to poke fun of...more material than sequins
on evening wear!
As outrageous as the movie may be, you'll probably find it's not
that far off the mark...even with its silly hats and costumes
promoting or honoring certain landmarks or figures, such as the home of the
world's largest ball of twine, Lady Liberty keeping her torch
lit, etc.
Nothing is sacred or taboo. Trailer trash, prima donnas, ditzy
blondes, the stuck-up snob who thinks she's all that (along with the
in-control mother itching to prove it)......
And to think, I didn't even
mention the talent show yet or the retiring teen princess whose
Barbie doll probably weighs more than she does! This movie will
blow you away, unless you're a princess...in which case, you'll
probably just blow chunks. *gasp* |
|
Evan Almighty
(follow up/sequel to
Bruce Almighty) |
3
Licks |
|
|
2007 |
Rated PG |
Steve Carell, Morgan
Freeman, Lauren Graham, Wanda Sykes, John Goodman. |
|
|
In modern day times, God warns Evan
(Carell) of an upcoming flood and wants him – like Noah in biblical
times – to build an ark. Naturally, Evan suspects stress has
him losing his own mind well before he ever believes God has really
called upon him for some monumental task or worthy purpose. A flood
where he lives? Impossible! Isn’t it?
Evan Almighty is a good story with a fast-pace feel to it. If you need a bathroom
break during the movie, you’ll miss something. Thus, if you can’t
pause the movie or your biological functions…go before the movie
starts and limit your intake of liquid refreshment…or simply wear a
diaper (but just don’t tell anyone)!
With Carell and Sykes, there are a lot
of funny moments in this movie. Carell is even better as Evan
the second time around (having also played Evan in Bruce
Almighty), and the character played by Sykes is a scene-stealer
with all the zingers she has for lines.
Though Bruce Almighty has a
slight edge on humorous moments, Evan Almighty is still a great
comedy to watch! Plus, you may learn a few things about ark building,
just in case you ever need to know… |
|
Godfather of
Green
Bay, The |
2.5*
Licks |
|
|
2005 |
Rated R |
Pete Schwaba, Lauren
Holly, Tony Goldwyn, Lance Barber, Thomas Lennon. |
|
|
The Godfather of Green Bay
proves that the mullet is still alive and well…and living in some
parts of rural Wisconsin on men still stuck on their glory days
of high school. The mullet, however, is not the focus of the movie,
nor is it on its way back “in.” (We hope.)
The movie focuses on a stand-up
comedian named Joe (played by Pete Schwaba) who’s blown every
single chance for notice, fame and celebrity in his umpteen-year
career. Still believing in his friend, a fellow comedian convinces
Joe to road-trip to small-town Wisconsin with him, where a
powerful industry scout returns every year for Rocktoberfest /
Octoberfest. With a rocky start, things aren’t looking good for Joe,
but there’s still a chance he could get his big break yet…get the girl
and live to tell about all of it.
However, the locals aren’t so amused,
especially Big Jake (aka “The Godfather of Green Bay”), who
feels Joe stole his girlfriend. If you’re from Wisconsin or
elsewhere in the Midwest, see the movie. You’ll probably feel picked on, but it’s all in good
fun. The Midwestern accent in the movie is entertaining, although
Wisconsinites will likely claim they not only have no accent
but that the one given them here is more of a Minnesotan accent…ala
the movie Fargo. Minnesotans will try to deny this. Don't
believe them.
Enjoyable comedy filled with
small-town personas and habitats, as well as a love of football and
staunch football-related rivalries. Green Bay rules! Bears suck! (And
so do the Vikings, though the movie’s residents are more concerned
about Bear-bashing.) Also included for your entertainment is the
glory-days-living godfather doing the Macarena, thinking no
woman can resist him after seeing him dance that.
(Note to godfather:
You should’ve done a polka instead! The date would probably still
laugh, but hey…you could blame it on the beer. Or she could.)
*Earnote:
The Godfather of Green Bay is a good comedy, but the lick rating is
variable. We’ll start with an average of 2.5 Licks and go
from there. If you’re from Wisconsin or are a Green Bay Packer fan,
it’s at least one lick higher than average. If you’re from Illinois,
take away one lick. If you’ve lived in Wisconsin but moved away and
have been picked on for your accent (even though you still claim you
don’t have one), add a lick. If you have friends from Wisconsin and/or
enjoy poking fun at the alleged non-accent accent, add a lick. If you
have no idea what or where a “Wisconsin” is or you don’t get the
Wisconsin humor, minus two licks and immediately go “google”
Wisconsin, Green Bay and the Packers!
If you’re a
Chicago Bears fan, take away 2 licks, go to confession and accept the
Green Bay Packers as your lords and saviors. If you’re a Vikings fan,
remove no licks, but still…go to confession and accept the Green Bay
Packers as your lords and saviors. (Win or lose, they’re always still
lords and saviors!) If you don’t watch or enjoy football, stay out of
Wisconsin. It’s sacrilege not to enjoy football when you’re in
Packer country! And finally, when it's football season, root for
the Packers. Always. |
|
Groundhog Day |
3 Licks |
| |
1993 |
Rated PG |
Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris
Elliott. |
| |
Best acting
honors should go to the groundhog who portrayed Punxatawney Phil, for
tirelessly forecasting the weather...take after take after take! His
stylist did wonders on his hair. Never was one hair out of place!
Bill Murray as the tortured soul
who had to relive the same day over and over again until he did it
right was great in this role. This is exactly how they should've made
the movie Scrooged. And it may also make you wish you could
relive just one pivotal day in your own life until you had done
everything you wished you could've, knowing you'd only wake up to that
same day the next day...with no lasting repercussions.
Incidentally,
if I had to wake up every morning to "I Got You Babe," sung by
Sonny and Cher, I would've chopped off my own ears on Day Two.
Listening to that song every morning wouldn't feel like an ear-lick,
but like a weak, old Mike Tyson latching his toothless gums onto your
ear, too weak to bite it off completely, but too determined to give it
up until your ear is half-gnawed and tenderized like a juicy,
undercooked steak. |
|
I Love Trouble |
0 Licks |
| |
1994 |
Rated PG |
Julia Roberts, Nick Nolte, Kelly
Rutherford, Olympia Dukakis, Eugene Levy, Robert Loggia, Marsha Mason,
Nora Dunn. |
| |
The only thing they got right in this
movie was the title. I Love Trouble. You love trouble. We all
love trouble...at least now and then. I can't say the same for the
movie. I couldn't love it even if you coated it with the finest chocolate and
topped it with real whipped cream. I don't love it or like it, and I
certainly wouldn't lick it. Well, maybe I'd lick the whipped cream,
but not the movie. Pairing up Julia Roberts with Nick Nolte and
expecting sparks, chemistry and some odd romance that we'd all fall
for...how stupid did the movie execs really think we were?!
If you really love trouble and want to keep it that
way, go get in some and spend some money towards bailing
yourself out of jail, rather than wasting it on this movie. |
|
I Think I Love My Wife |
0
Licks |
|
|
2007 |
Rated R |
Chris Rock, Kerry
Washington, Gina Torres, Steve Buscemi. |
|
|
A man’s marriage is less than perfect
though, at first glance, he may seem to have a good home and family
life in middle class America. With his marriage currently lacking sex,
he fantasizes…and then bam! A hot, single female from his past
shows up, tempting him as he wonders “what if…”
I think I didn’t love this
movie. I think I didn’t find it funny. I think I didn’t
love or even care at all for the husband, the wife nor the temptress.
I think I would’ve loved skipping this movie!
This tale fails in so many
ways…especially when it dares in any way to aspire to even think
it’s a romantic comedy, unless somehow, the term as we know it has
been wrong all these years! |
|
Just Visiting |
1
Lick |
|
|
2001 |
Rated PG-13 |
Jean Reno, Christina
Applegate, Matt Ross, Christian Clavier, Malcolm McDowell, Tara Reid. |
|
|
A French nobleman and his servant from
long, long ago are transported into modern day Chicago when a wizard’s
spell goes wrong. They end up meeting one of the nobleman’s
descendents (played by Applegate) and she takes them in, mistaking the
nobleman for a cousin she thought had passed away. Thus she attributes
his strange behavior and attire to amnesia or some other trauma he may
have sustained. In amidst the new experiences, the nobleman keeps
searching for a wizard to get back to his time so he can keep a
tragedy from happening…which is what he was attempting to do when the
wizard’s spell somehow sent him to present day Chicago instead.
The idea of time travel can be a hard
sell, especially when the main focus of the movie seems to be the
differences in time, as well as the reactions to new experiences or
items completely unlike anything the time travelers had known before.
Just Visiting did not complete the sale. Though there were funny moments throughout
the movie, much of that humor seemed to be cheap, corny and sophomoric
humor. It’s the kind of humor you generally need to be in the mood for
in order to enjoy it.
The story was bland. The jokes were
stale and cheap. If you’re looking for a time traveling story, there
are definitely better and funnier ones out there. (Try the Back to
the Future trilogy, for instance.) |
|
Liar, Liar |
2.5 Licks |
| |
1997 |
Rated PG-13 |
Jim Carrey,
Jennifer Tilly, Maura Tierney, Amanda Donohoe, Swoosie Kurtz, Carey
Elwes. |
| |
Not an awesome
movie, but a "good enough" comedy to while away about 85 minutes of your
time on a Sunday afternoon or a Monday morning home "sick" from work.
This is one of
Jim Carrey's more tame, mainstream roles. At
Lick's Picks, he's generally
preferred in more
outrageous roles. Carrey's ability to contort his face to a range of oddball
expressions is one of his key acting skills. We bet if he wants to go
home sick from the movie set, he can really fool them. We should all
take lessons from him! |
|
Longest Yard, The |
2 Licks |
| |
2005 |
Rated PG-13 |
Adam
Sandler, Chris Rock, Michael Irvin, Burt Reynolds, Nelly. |
| |
No doubt that Adam Sandler movies are
funny, even when they're remakes, such as this one. However, this
one's not quite on the "A-List" as far as Sandler's movie roles go.
It's "good enough," but not sure there's anything so extraordinary
here that made this a movie begging or needing to be
redone...unless, of course, you're a huge Burt Reynolds fan and you
want to see him play the "old guy" coach, instead of the young,
hotshot former pro quarterback, which is the part he'd done in the 1974
version of this movie.
He may be playing the old guy now, but for an old guy, Burt's
aged well. I wonder what type of wine barrel he ripens in each night.
Is it a fine French oak barrel with hints of berry, vanilla and a
light touch of herbs? Or is it more of a chestnut barrel with a robust
flavoring and hints of spice? |
|
Look Who's Talking
|
2.5 Licks |
| |
1989 |
Rated PG-13 |
Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, (voice)
Bruce Willis, Olympia Dukakis, George Segal, Abe Vigoda. |
| |
There is some humor in this movie, and
most of it is in the talking baby's lines. Bruce Willis does an
excellent job as "Baby Mikey." You almost wonder if he
researched the role by sitting in high chairs, sucking his thumb,
wearing diapers and making poo-poo faces behind Demi Moore's back.
The story was "cute," but primarily in a 7-year-old's view on the
cuteness radar.
Kirstie Alley and John Travolta were forgettable and uninspiring,
easily out-acted by the babies physically playing Mikey and the voice
of Bruce Willis capturing the essence of the baby's thoughts. |
|
Look Who's Talking Now
(second sequel to
Look Who's Talking) |
0 Licks |
| |
1993 |
Rated PG-13 |
Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, Olympia
Dukakis, George Segal, (voice) Danny DeVito, (voice) Diane Keaton. |
| |
First there was talking baby Mikey, and
then he gets a little sister, Julie, who also talks. But in the 2nd
sequel to "Look Who's Talking," everything has completely gone
to the dogs, both literally and figuratively.
Were Danny DeVito and
Diane Keaton actually that desperate for "scraps" (or
scripts) that they agreed to
play dead, er, to voice the dogs in this uninspiring sequel?
This movie would've been better caged inside a kennel, hidden under a
pile of poo at the dog pound
rather than on film. |
|
Look Who's Talking Too
(first sequel to
Look Who's Talking) |
1 Lick |
| |
1990 |
Rated PG-13 |
Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, Olympia
Dukakis, Gilbert Gottfried. Voices of: Bruce
Willis, Roseanne Barr, Damon Wayans, Mel Brooks. |
| |
It was funny and cute the first time
around, but there's nothing real new or special the 2nd time around.
Sure, there's the addition of a baby sister for Mikey, and yes, you
get to hear her thoughts, too --- but Mikey did it first!
Roseanne Barr as the voice of the baby?! Well, "waaaah" to that!
Then again, she certainly does have a whiney enough voice and tone to
play a baby. She even gave me colic, and I'm decades away from
infancy! |
|
Mallrats
Writer/Director: Kevin Smith |
1.5
Licks |
|
|
1995 |
Rated R |
Shannen Doherty, Jeremy
London, Jason Lee, Claire Forlani, Joey Lauren Adams, Jason Mewes,
Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck. |
|
|
If you’re a Kevin Smith fan, you will
likely like Mallrats more than I did, though many fans will
admit it’s still not one of his better films.
In Mallrats, two geekish teen
boys are dumped by their girlfriends so they decide to hang out at the
local mall all day. Naturally, Jay and Silent Bob are
there as well, in addition to others they know. The dumped boys decide
to try to win back their girlfriends somehow…with the help of Jay
and Silent Bob. A plan like that can’t possibly go wrong, can
it?!
There are some entertaining moments in
Mallrats, but all in all…I’d have rather spent my time – and
money – at a mall! |
|
Mamma Mia! The Movie |
4.5
Licks |
|
|
2008 |
Rated PG-13 |
Amanda Seyfried, Meryl
Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Christine Baranski, Colin Firth, Stellan
Skarsgard, Julie Walters, Dominic Cooper. |
|
|
Mamma Mia! The Movie
is a great comedic musical, featuring
songs by ABBA. If you’re an ABBA fan, this is a “must-see” that won’t
let you down!
Sophie
(played by Amanda Seyfried) is about to get married, but really wants
her father to give her away. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know who that
is…so, unbeknownst to her mother (played by Meryl Streep), she invites
the 3 men it “might” be to the island for the wedding. If that’s not
asking for trouble and chaos, what is?!
This movie is perfectly cast and
wonderfully carried out! The acting is great, as are the score/music,
setting and storyline! ABBA fans --- you’re absolutely gonna love it!
On the downside, you may notice the
lip movements don’t always match up with the singing, so try not to
look too closely. We wouldn’t want this small oversight to ruin the
joy of an otherwise great movie!
Though Meryl Streep may not typically
be adored by movie-goers everywhere, she’s certainly adored by me, and
not just for her work here! She’s got talent, personality, a mind of
her own…and she knows how to use them all! Maybe it’s not so much that
she isn’t liked, but that she’s envied for being what many others
these days simply feel they can’t.
As for Amanda Seyfried, it’s time she
made more movies and got out of that HBO Show called Big Love
(even though I happen to love that show as well). In other words, she
is a treat to watch in this comedic musical.
Now, as for the men in this film, it’s
clear neither Pierce Brosnan nor any of the other men were hired for
their singing abilities. But alas, this movie was for the women to
shine, so this fact does not deter from one’s enjoyment of the
film…but rather makes you applaud the men for their bravery in singing
anyway. Of course, their bravest moment comes at the very end, but
I’ll let you discover that for yourselves! |
|
Monty Python’s The
Meaning of Life |
3.5
Licks |
|
|
1983 |
Rated R |
John Cleese, Terry
Gilliam, Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Jones. |
|
|
A mix of sketches all focused on
matters related and pertaining to life as performed by Monty
Python’s British comedy group.
Monty Python movies and shows excel at finding those little niches in society and
tweaking, twisting and exploiting them to the nth degree for hilarity.
This movie does exactly that, but on
the flipside – the funny doesn’t go above the usual
expectations one’s come to expect from this British comedy troupe. (Monty
Python and the Holy Grail, however, does…though I haven’t
officially reviewed that movie at the time this review was done.)
Still, though, at 3.5 Licks, this is well worth a watch
for countless laughs! |
|
Muriel's Wedding |
4 Licks |
| |
1994 |
Rated R |
Toni Collette, Rachel Griffiths, Jeanie
Drynan, Bill Hunter, Daniel Lapaine. |
| |
How someone's pathetic life can be tied to
ABBA music is beyond my comprehension. Pathetic would ring more true
of the "music" of one of those god-awful "boy bands" that tend to die
out after 300,000 screaming pre-teen fangirls hit puberty.
Nonetheless, the levels of patheticism of the characters in
this movie, throughout the whole movie, just makes you want to
shake your head...but also keeps your interest level high. Most people
feel so much better about their own lives and the people in them after
having seen Muriel's Wedding.
Oh, and make sure you buy the ABBA: Gold CD for that
after-movie craving you'll have for those bygone days of disco.
Contrary to popular belief, men aren't as likely to poke fun of you
for liking ABBA as you'd think. Many will admit to liking
ABBA, even if most will only do so in the closet, while wearing a
paper bag over their heads or with their voices digitally altered to
protect their identities. (Trust me. I know this from experience. Not
one poked fun of me. In fact, they all thought it was "great" and
wanted to hear the CD! And believe it or not, not even one single
closet, paper bag or digitally enhanced voice was required for those
confessions.)
Back to the movie...can anyone tell me how to get to Porpoise
Spit? I was thinking it would make a great witness relocation
venue...or something! |
|
My
Super Ex-Girlfriend |
2 Licks |
| |
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Uma Thurman, Luke
Wilson, Anna Faris, Wanda Sykes, Rainn Wilson, Eddie Izzard.. |
| |
Imagine if you found out your girlfriend
or boyfriend was neurotic and mentally unstable...just like a few
others you may have dated in the past. Sure, you'd want to dump her or
him, but......what if it turns out he or she is also a superhero?! In
this movie, Luke Wilson's character discovers his "perfect" girlfriend
is also a superhero known as G-Girl (played by Uma Thurman),
and even superheros aren't so perfect after all. Even superheros have
a jealous streak and can be quite vindictive and destructive.
And you thought your last boyfriend or girlfriend was bad....hah,
try dating a superhero!
My Super Ex-Girlfriend is a fun movie that you can enjoy
without the need for serious thought or heavy concentration. It's not
an Oscar award contender by any means, but if you're looking
for some easy, light-hearted laughs, this movie won't disappoint. You
may even learn something. If you think your significant other might be
a superhero......tread carefully! |
|
Napoleon Dynamite |
3 Licks |
| |
2004 |
Rated PG |
Jon Heder, Tina Majorino, Jon Gries,
Efren Ramirez, Haylie Duff. |
| |
If you're looking for "stupid funny,"
you've found your movie! If you don't expect much and are in the right
mood for a mindless comedy, this one will be there for you in your
time of need, especially if you're trying to reach or satisfy your
inner geek. This movie may not have it all, but it does have some
interesting things you won't find in just any movie. Moon
boots. A slimy, sleazy uncle forever stuck in his glory days'
past. And a few geeks to represent the awkward high school geek still
in all of us.
P.S. It'd be flippin' sweet if you'd vote for Pedro! |
|
Office Space |
4 Licks |
| |
1999 |
Rated R |
Mike Judge, Ron Livingston, Jennifer
Aniston, John C. McGinley, Gary Cole, Orlando Jones. |
| |
Anyone who's ever
worked in an office, sat in a cube (cubicle) or had a boss...should see this movie, especially if you've
worked in any "corporate America" type setting, mmmkay? You'll
probably recognize the office or characters, sure that you've worked
there before...or still! I hired 3 overpriced consultants, promoted
a lazy, fat cat and gave myself 5 raises in the time it took to write
this review. Now, I need to go buy myself a company jet or something!
But before I go, let me remind you to see this movie
--- preferably on company time, in Conference Room "A," using the
company's media resources, instead of
working on that overdue project you didn't finish last week. |
|
Once Bitten |
1.75
Licks |
| |
1985 |
Rated PG-13 |
Lauren Hutton, Jim Carrey, Karen
Kopins, Cleavon Little. |
| |
This cheesy vampire movie in the early
days of Jim Carrey's film career is bad, but worth a few laughs at the
movie's own expense if you're "slumming" for entertainment.
Not a
great vampire movie by any means, so if you're a vampire connoisseur,
skip this one. The vampires found in Once Bitten are like
cheap, superstore discount vampire knockoffs. Your neighbor kid would make a more
realistic vampire...even with a vintage retro plastic mask and vampire cape
from the 1970's! |
|
Planes, Trains and
Automobiles
Writer/Director: John Hughes |
3
Licks |
|
|
1987 |
Rated R |
Steve Martin, John Candy,
Michael McKean, Kevin Bacon. |
|
|
Classic Hughes film. It’s the tale of
that person you really hate who keeps hanging out with you anyway,
oblivious to that fact. As much as you despise that constant presence
or pestering, eventually, you realize you need – and maybe even
begrudgingly – like that person on some level.
Steve Martin is the movie’s grown-up
"cool kid," while John Candy is the movie’s stereotypical adult
version of the "fat loser kid" who’s the better person if you give him
a chance and take the time to get to know him. By the end of the
movie, you realize Candy’s character is a loveable "loser," and
somehow…Martin’s character is cooler for having known him.
No matter what the transport mode or
entertainment vehicle, Martin and Candy work well together and are
great in comedic roles. |
|
Raising Arizona
Writers: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen. Director: Joel
Coen. |
3 Licks |
| |
1987 |
Rated PG-13 |
Nicolas Cage, Holly
Hunter, John Goodman, Frances McDormand. |
| |
This comedy from the Coen brothers is
unlike anything else you've ever seen. You will find more story in the
opening sequence than you get in most movies after they've fully
played out. If you enjoy comedies, but prefer them a bit different or
more off-beat than the standard, "cookie cutter" types of comedies,
you won't want to miss this classic Coen film! With a cast of
characters including an ex-con married to a cop (and that couple being
desperate for children of their own), a rich family with quintuplets,
a "biker of the apocalypse" and others, you'll wonder how this all
comes together. The Coen brothers know how to make uniquely inventive
and entertaining movies, and Raising Arizona is proof that
their formula works well.
Nicolas Cage, although not generally known as a great actor, does
well in this film as an ex-con married to a cop. Holly Hunter does a
superb job in the role of his cop wife! |
|
Rat Race |
4 Licks |
| |
2001 |
Rated PG-13 |
John Cleese, Cuba
Gooding, Jr., Whoopi Goldberg, Seth Green, Jon Lovitz, Breckin Meyer,
Amy Smart, Kathy Najimy, Rowan Atkinson...and more! |
| |
Hilarious comedy
involving a mad dash for a hefty amount of prize money, and the
lengths people will go to in the name of greed. This movie also gives
new meaning to the phrase "till the cows come home." Don't wait until
pigs fly to see this movie. Watch this and see the flying cow,
instead!
Despite the
lackluster title and poor advertising the movie execs did for this
movie, this is one you should NOT miss! Don't just rent
it, buy it! It's so funny, you'll want to watch it again and again!
Earnote:
No rats were harmed or raced during the
reviewing of this movie, at least not by the movie critic. Some cheese
may have been eaten and cows may have flown, but at least no rats were
harmed! |
|
Relative Strangers |
3
Licks |
|
|
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Ron Livingston, Kathy
Bates, Danny DeVito, Neve Campbell, Beverly D’Angelo, Christine
Baranski. |
|
|
An uptight professional played well by
Ron Livingston wants to connect with his biological parents...but he’s
a bit embarrassed to find “The Man-you-rays” he thought they were are
actually “The Ma-new-ers” --- Frank and Agnes Menure (played
superbly by DeVito and Bates).
Though the Menures are lovable
in their own way; upper-crust, socially refined and part of the
in-crowd, they are not. More often than not, Richard
(Livingston) is embarrassed by their manners and behaviors to the
point that his own behavior towards them jeopardizes his relationship
with his fiancée Ellen (Campbell).
Relative Strangers
is an enjoyable movie that brings smiles and laughter, while also
helping you feel better about your own relatives and their less than
perfect behaviors and peculiarities. Everyone is embarrassed by their
own parents or other relatives at some point in their lives…or let’s
face it…at many points through the course of life!
Of course, the movie’s lesson is that
we should learn to accept each other for who we are as individuals,
because like it or not…family is family and we are bound to them. This
isn’t the first movie with this message or general story, but it’s a
comfortable tale that is easily relatable – relatively speaking, of
course. =p (Obvious puns intended.)
DeVito and Bates are excellently cast
in their roles, ensuring the good-natured but unsophisticated
Menures seem like people you might recognize somewhere in your own
family tree or someone else’s. The likeability they give their
characters might even make you feel closer to the embarrassing
relatives you know…even if you’d rather not acknowledge that publicly,
even just amongst friends! Livingston also does a great job acting as
the uptight professional having a hard time accepting the less than
enticing scent and essence of his biological roots. |
|
Saving Silverman |
3.25 Licks |
| |
2001 |
Rated PG-13 |
Jack Black, Steve Zahn, Amanda Peet, Jason
Biggs, Amanda Detmer, Neil Diamond. |
| |
Amanda Peet. She's a hot chick,
at least to some of you out there. Guys, see
the movie for her...even if she's not your most preferred hottie. Oh,
and then? Enjoy the humor of the movie, which is why women see this
flick. I enjoy the roles typically played by Jack Black and Steve
Zahn, but they're not exactly eye-candy. And having seen Jason
Biggs's role in American Pie...well, he just wouldn't do it for
me, either. (Some images, you just can't get out of your head.)
This movie is great, light-hearted fun! I can only imagine the
number of men who wish they'd had friends like those to kidnap their
fiancées, if they ever had one, have one or will have one! (But I
digress...no pain, no gain, guys. You know you still love us women,
even if you can't live with us or did for awhile until it was too much
of your sanity to risk anymore!)
Warning: You may experience a sudden odd desire to listen to
nonstop Neil Diamond music for a few days. Don't worry. This phase
will pass, as it did with me, but nonetheless...get a Neil Diamond playlist ready, just in case! |
|
School for Scoundrels |
2.5
Licks |
|
|
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Billy Bob Thornton, Jon
Heder, Jacinda Barrett, Michael Clarke Duncan, Sarah Silverman, Ben
Stiller. |
|
|
Roger
(played by Heder) is a stereotypical loser with low self-esteem, lack
of confidence and no assertiveness. Upon a friend’s urging, he enrolls
in a class designed to help its students become the “real men” they
want to be. Of course, this is all done for the love of a woman…and
it’s not going to be easy! Thornton plays the teacher with an
extremely competitive nature…and a sudden interest in the woman
Roger loves.
Main actors are well-chosen for their
roles, as they make the story seem very realistic and plausible. Then
again, who can’t relate to or identify with the suffering and
struggles of stereotypical loserhood at some point in life?!
School for Scoundrels is a good movie, regardless that the
storyline is relatively non-stimulating.
When you’re in need of some easy,
mindless instant pick-me-up type humor…this one’s a good choice! It
won’t make your brain hurt or overheat. |
|
Shanghai Knights
(sequel to Shanghai Noon)
|
3.5 Licks |
| |
2003 |
Rated PG-13 |
Jackie Chan, Owen
Wilson, Gemma Jones. |
| |
In this sequel, the pairing of Chan and
Wilson works even better than the first, their comedic timing and
camaraderie seeming so easy and natural. Shanghai Knights takes
both characters out of their element, adding even more opportunities
for comedic antics, great action, drama and surprises for both, not to
mention some slyly placed historical references or name-dropping
you'll find amusing. If you like fight scenes, you'll find many to
enjoy here. As one has come to expect, Chan's fight scenes are
masterfully choreographed and well performed. Don't miss the "Singin'
in the Rain" fight scene, as that choreography and planning alone
makes this movie of special note! |
|
Shanghai Noon |
3.5 Licks |
| |
2000 |
Rated
PG-13 |
Jackie
Chan, Owen Wilson, Lucy Liu. |
| |
For a comedic action/adventure
set in the classic "old west" western era, you might think Jackie Chan
and Owen Wilson sound like the gayest combination of actors ever to
co-star in any sort of "western." However, you'll be happily surprised
at the pairing of this unlikely duo. In fact, this pairing works so
well, it has even outlasted countless Hollywood marriages! Not to
mention, the pairing of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson is so much better
than you'd imagine, that it's a thousand times better than that of
Nolte and Murphy as makeshift "buddy cops" in 48 Hours.
Shanghai Noon is definitely not an average, ordinary western, so
if you're a John Wayne fan, well...this probably isn't that
movie. However, this movie does a great job of making light of old
westerns in an upbeat and entertaining way. This movie will leave you
smiling, laughing and wishing you had your own Wilson or Chan amongst
your circle of friends! |
|
Talladega Nights: The
Ballad of Ricky Bobby |
4 Licks |
| |
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Gary
Cole, Molly Shannon, Jane Lynch, Michael Clarke Duncan, Greg Germann. |
| |
I feared going to this movie made me a bit
white-trashy, but my fears were allayed. After all, being a
Ricky Bobby voyeur doesn't make one white trash. It's the
movie itself that pokes fun of white trash, more specifically
the racing industry's own variations of white trash.
And who
better than Will Ferrell to pull that off without being too insulting
or crude about it? It takes a certain type of persona to carry off the
role of Ricky Bobby without making enemies of the racing
industry and of those involved in that industry, and Will Ferrell was
the perfect choice!
Gary Cole is another standout in the role of Ricky Bobby's
total white trash, loser dad. He almost makes you wish he was your own
dad, white trash loser or not!
The over-the-top ad placements and sponsorships found in
Talladega Nights are hilarious! Anyone who's even been within 500
miles of any auto racing circuit has probably thought about selling
off some of their own parts...maybe even a lung or a kidney...just to
fit in and have a logo or sponsor name emblazoned on something of
their very
own.
I left this movie laughing, and all I wanted to do was
practice a made-up handshake and yell,"shake and
bake, baby! Shake and bake!" And that had nothing to do with abusing babies or
chicken. =p |
|
Ten, The |
4
Licks |
|
|
2007 |
Rated R |
Paul Rudd, Winona Ryder,
Adam Brody, Famke Janssen, Liev Schreiber, Jessica Alba, Gretchen Mol,
Rob Corddry. |
|
|
The Ten
is uniquely perverse and quirky take-off of each of the ten
commandments. One man with more than his share of problems (and broken
commandments) introduces ten different stories – all having relevance
to a specific commandment – and each story somehow intertwined with
another.
If you’re serious about your religion
and/or don’t take kindly to those who exploit the humor in religious
subject matter, skip this movie, as you will absolutely hate it.
However,
if you…like me…are open to oddball comedies and have a mind or sense
of humor others often find perversely bizarre…The Ten may even
question whether or not your own thoughts are as “out there” as you
think they are.
As the stories begin to unfold, you
may think you won’t like this movie as it has you feeling you’re not
sure WHAT you’re feeling or thinking…or even what you should be
feeling or thinking. (It’s just that off-the-wall.) The more of the
stories that play out, though, the more you’ll likely realize how much
you really, really like this movie…even if, at times, you wonder why
or how that is. It’s just so unusual that you can’t help but admire
its audacity and outlandishness.
The situations are outrageous and some
of the stories are just “sooooo wrong,” but in a movie like this….
“sooooo wrong” is more than right! Sometimes, “sooooo wrong” is
exactly what you need to realize your mind isn’t the only one
disturbed. =p Others have even more nefarious ideas than you! Or me.
See this movie not knowing quite what
to expect…specifically. Even with all I’ve said, you have no idea this
movie’s madness until you’ve seen it! Your mind will reel in wonder at
the creative genius of it all! |
|
Thank You for Smoking |
2.5
Licks |
|
|
2005 |
Rated R |
Aaron Eckhart, William H.
Macy, Katie Holmes, Sam Elliott, Rob Lowe, Cameron Bright. |
|
|
Thank You for Smoking.
No, really. Thank You for Smoking! Better you than me!
But seriously…this is a good
tongue-in-cheek comedy that will keep you alternately smiling and
laughing throughout the movie – especially if you’re a smoker! The
more you know about smoking and/or smokers, the more you’ll laugh
along with them.
However, there are a few scenarios or
set-ups that seem so morally or ethically wrong, I felt I
couldn’t rate this higher than 2.5 Licks. That doesn’t mean I
didn’t laugh at those, too, just that I felt a momentary need to go to
confessional for finding the humor in them…and I’m not even catholic!
Earnote:
With my sense of humor, I should probably have a confessional with
24/7 access on the premises. |
|
There's Something About
Mary |
4
Licks |
|
|
1998 |
Rated R |
Ben Stiller, Cameron
Diaz, Matt Dillon, Chris Elliott, Jeffrey Tambor, Markie Post. |
|
|
This movie was hilarious for its time
and is still quite comical today. It really helped launch Cameron Diaz
– as Mary – into the big time. This catapulted Ben Stiller’s
career as well.
Though Stiller plays much the same
character in future roles, even with all the practice and experience
he may have in later roles, it’s hard to beat how well that character
works in this movie. The characters, situations and lines here are
hilarious!
Stiller plays the grown-up, awkward
geek boy from high school, and Diaz is that high school dream girl he
(and so many others) still can’t get out of his mind, despite how
awfully things turned out from a prom date that never made it to prom.
There’s one flashback scene that could make a guy wince in pain, even
if he can’t help but laugh. If you’re a guy, and this ever happened to
you, hopefully it wasn’t on as special a night as prom night…and
hopefully, there were no witnesses!
Still today, I think of this movie and
chuckle anytime I hear someone mention franks and beans. |
|
Throw Momma From the Train |
1 Lick |
| |
1987 |
Rated PG-13 |
Danny DeVito,
Billy Crystal, Kate Mulgrew, Anne Ramsey, Rob Reiner. |
| |
Not sure what's
more disturbing --- the movie concept or the awful roles therein. I'd
rather cannonball this movie as the awful stink-bomb that it really
is. Thankfully, this was not the "highlight" of DeVito's nor
Crystal's careers.
If you're going to
attempt to watch this, do it when you're suffering insomnia and maybe
you'll be instantly cured. |
|
Thumbsucker |
0.25
Licks |
|
|
2005 |
Rated R |
Lou Pucci, Tilda Swinton,
Keanu Reeves, Vincent D’Onofrio, Vince Vaughn, Benjamin Bratt. |
|
|
Teen boy with a serious thumb-sucking
habit tries to break the habit and move on with life. Pure genius for
a plot! A definite Oscar award-worthy film! Not!!!
If you watch this movie, keep your
expectations low so you won’t be disappointed too much. And if you
can, try sucking your thumb during the movie. You may find that your
own thumb is actually more interesting and serves a greater purpose
than the wasted time and space of Thumbsucker.
Thumbsucker couldn’t convince me to suck my thumb, nor even to give it (or the
movie) more than one-fourth of a lick. And that quarter-of-a-lick is
only for the odd, new-age / hippie dentist character portrayed by
Keanu Reeves. The character was quirky enough to deserve at least some
praise even if the rest of the movie’s elements deserved none. |
|
Very Bad Things |
3.5 Licks |
| |
1998 |
Rated R |
Christian Slater,
Cameron Diaz, Jon Favreau, Jeremy Piven, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Daniel
Stern. |
| |
Dark comedy of a
bachelor party gone horribly wrong. If you're a bride, you probably
don't want to see this. However, for all you grooms out there, watch
this movie as a warning on the dangers of bachelor parties and bad-ass
friends.
And if you do go through with that
bachelor party, try not to kill the entertainment. A dead stripper -
believe it or not - can get you in much deeper trouble than a live one
on yours or your friend's lap.
Not recommended
for anyone not into extremely dark, satirical comedies. This is one
comedy so wrong and "out there," that you have to laugh, or you'll
worry about those friends of yours who are laughing while you're
wondering just how far your significant other or friends would go
should they be put in the same situation. And don't even think of how
that situation would develop. Some things are better off left a
mystery, even amongst friends! |
|
Very Brady Sequel, A |
1.5 Licks |
| |
1996 |
Rated PG-13 |
Shelley Long, Gary
Cole, Christine Taylor, Tim Matheson. |
| |
Upon the huge
success of the first Brady Bunch movie, the cast returns for round #2,
but this sequel just didn't cut it. Same basic lines and laughs, but
not as "fresh" a concept as the first one. Hollywood tends to overdo
rather than let a success be a success in its own right without
milking it to death until that cow tips over in the wrong spot...a
ledge, teetering on that ledge until it tumbles down that embankment
into obscurity and a slow, painstakingly ugly death.
This is one
Brady sequel that should've been left in the 1970's with the polyester
pantsuits and "groovy" bell-bottoms with the rainbow-stitched pocket
designs. |
|
Wayne's World |
2.75 Licks |
| |
1992 |
Rated PG-13 |
Mike Myers, Dana
Carvey, Tia Carrere, Rob Lowe, Lara Flynn Boyle, Ed O'Neill, Donna
Dixon. |
| |
If you loved the Wayne and Garth
skits on SNL (Saturday Night Live), you'll enjoy the movie.
This is the sort of easy, light entertainment that thrives on
not requiring any deep concentration or thought. It's
especially good for a pick-me-up when you need to just "let go"
and remember when life seemed easier, worries minor and troubles
smaller.
P.S. You're probably "not worthy" to see this movie, but do it
anyway for some light-hearted fun, and quote-worthy lines there's
really no "ex-squeeze" for but you can't help but want to
relive or use anyway. |
|
Wayne's World 2 |
1.5 Licks |
| |
1993 |
Rated PG-13 |
Mike Myers, Dana
Carvey, Tia Carrere, Christopher Walken, Kim Basinger, Ed O'Neill,
Olivia D'Abo, Kevin Pollak, Drew Barrymore. |
| |
Been there. Done that. Seen it...in the
first Wayne's World.
This one's okay if you're Wayne and Garth fans, but
nothing new or "must see" about this uninspiring sequel.
You'd be better off watching the original Wayne's World again
if you need a Wayne and Garth fix. |
|
Wedding Crashers |
3
Licks |
|
|
2005 |
Rated R |
Owen Wilson, Vince
Vaughn, Christopher Walken, Jane Seymour, Rachel McAdams, Rebecca De
Mornay. |
|
|
Light-hearted, easy humor that doesn’t
make you think too hard. Wedding Crashers is a great comedy to
watch when you just want to escape for awhile, forgetting the worries
and cares of everyday life. After a rough day at work, it’s a movie
like this one that you’re really craving to see!
All of us, at some point or other,
have likely wanted to “crash” a wedding, so this is a great movie
concept. Vaughn and Wilson are perfect casting as the wedding crashing
duo!
If you’re thinking of crashing a
wedding or two, consider Wedding Crashers to be vital training
in your “crash” course. You just might learn a few tricks of the trade
– or even a few wedding toasts – from Wilson and Vaughn’s escapades.
|
|
Wild Hogs |
2.5
Licks |
|
|
2007 |
Rated PG-13 |
Tim Allen, John Travolta,
Martin Lawrence, William H. Macy, Ray Liotta, Marisa Tomei. |
|
|
Four guys try to spice up their lives
by road-tripping on hogs (motorcycles…not pigs or cops =p)
together across the country. If ever a chick-flick could be made a
guy-flick, this is the recipe: Random average middle-aged guys
longing for their glory days ride off into the sunset (think of the
sun as beer) on hogs…leaving their cares and lives behind for
awhile, if only for a road-trip of open space, beer, camaraderie, the
adrenaline of unexpected trouble and memories that will stay with them
forever upon their return.
The concept behind this movie is
attractive and enticing. We all wish we could just get up and go
without a care in the world at some point in our lives, so it’s nice
to see a film that shows others doing exactly that…even if we feel we
often can’t do that ourselves.
This story demonstrates that sometimes
in order to truly find yourself, you have to take that chance
or that risk and do what’s normally against your nature to do.
Sometimes, you have to become that wild hog reality has you
holding back in order to know you…become you. But how
many of us ever do even when the opportunity and means are readily
available?
Wild Hogs
is an enjoyable movie that’s easy to watch. In fact, one might say it
looks and seems too easy and that the actors had too much fun in
making this movie. It’s hard to get past how much fun they seemed to
have together. Maybe that’s a sign of great casting or great
male-bonding. Either way (and oddly enough), it all seems too
effortless and too fun, so that actually lowers my rating on this
film.
I guess in some ways that effortless
ease seems unnatural! Males bond?! In what universe?! Okay, so they
do, but usually, they try to keep that secret from us females…or
they’d be dragged to far more chick-flicks than they get away with
now! Remember that guys…it’s all that’s saving you from more
chick-flicks! |
|
Witches of Eastwick, The |
2.5
Licks |
| |
1987 |
Rated R |
Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer,
Susan Sarandon, Cher, Veronica Cartwright. |
| |
Aside from Cher, the casting in the movie
was well done. Cher is one who should stick to acting on-stage in her
concert performances, and leave the real acting to the professionals.
Nicholson does a great job of playing the dirty old man --- it
probably comes from real life experiences. Then again, aren't all men
dirty old men, at least in their own minds?!
Sarandon and Pfeiffer do a great job in their roles as well,
proving once again that despite our best efforts and attempts at
evolution and therapy, the devil still has his hold on us somehow. As
far as Cher's performances go, this one was at least less painful than
an hour spent in a dental exam chair. |
|
You, Me and Dupree |
2.5
Licks |
|
|
2006 |
Rated PG-13 |
Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson,
Michael Douglas, Matt Dillon. |
|
|
What newlywed couple wouldn’t want to
have their home and privacy invaded by one of their best friends?
Okay, so the answer is probably none.
However, when a best friend, such as
Dupree, is going through rough times, it’s hard not to offer
him help, even if it means he’s sleeping on your couch for awhile.
It’ll only be for a matter of days, right? He’ll get back on his feet
in no time. He’ll be an immaculate and wonderful house guest,
dedicated job hunter and won’t just take you and your new spouse’s
hospitality for granted, right?
Dupree
may be a fun guy to have around, especially being such a close friend,
but it puts an extra strain on a fresh marriage that isn’t ready for
raising kids, let alone “raising” a fully grown friend who still acts
much the carefree, irresponsible child many over-stressed adults wish
they could be at times.
Owen Wilson as Dupree is Owen
playing his typical role or character, but he does it so well that
it’s hard to fault him for it. He may not be all that diverse, but
with Wilson, you always know he’ll provide the easy, carefree laughter
you may need after a stressful week in reality. |
Lick's Picks (home) ...
Movie Index (alpha order) or choose a movie
genre here......
|
Adrenaline
Rush
|
Anywhere but Kansas |
Braces, Zits and Cheerleader Cliques
|
Buttered Popcorn |
Careening Coaster |
Flakes and Fruitcakes |
Fossils |
Laughing Gas |
Mixed Nuts |
Paint by Number |
What the F...ilm?! |
Whipped |
|