Angel Heart

4 Licks

1987

Rated R

Mickey Rourke, Robert De Niro, Lisa Bonet.

Angel Heart is a strange movie not for the mainstream movie fan. The further into the story you delve, the stranger and more freakish the movie becomes. Thus, who better in the lead role than Mickey Rourke who seems to do his best work in such roles?!

Rourke plays a private investigator hired to look for a man you won’t be sure you’ll want him to find. That is, unless you’re into death, darkness, soulless eyes, headless chickens and things that make you wonder WTF the person was thinking when this story was written.

As the strange becomes stranger, there’s a chance you’ll unravel the mystery before the end of the movie, but it won’t impact your enjoyment of Angel Heart at all, nor your desire to see the story fully played out!

Brazil

4 Licks

1985

Rated R

Jonathan Pryce, Robert De Niro, Katherine Helmond, Ian Holm, Michael Palin, Bob Hoskins, Jim Broadbent.

Futuristic tale with a retro vision of how that future’s technologies and advances (or lack thereof) would appear. A paperwork mix-up causes the imprisonment of an innocent man. Once discovered, Sam Lowry (played by Jonathan Pryce) tries to correct the error…but as he does, the errors multiply, and he finds himself under scrutiny and suspicion in the midst of a revolution he’s suddenly thought to be involved in.

This movie is so perfect for the What the F...ilm (WTF) category that it goes way beyond a few simple "WTF's." No movie could fit this category better than Brazil, since every scene has you thinking "WTF?!" Even the ending has you wondering "WTF?!" And later, as you’re reflecting on what you just saw, you’re still thinking, "WTF?!"

So, anyway, years later, I’m still wondering "WTF was that?!" If you like confusion and bizarre plots or tales, this one will definitely not disappoint!

Eyes Wide Shut    Screenplay/Director: Stanley Kubrick

3 Licks

1999

Rated R

Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Sydney Pollack, Alan Cumming, Leelee Sobieski.

Eyes Wide Shut is a good ending to Stanley Kubrick’s outstanding movie-making career. Like any other Kubrick film, Eyes Wide Shut is a very bizarre film not for the mainstream movie fan.

This movie explores a "happily married" man’s distress and realizations after his wife’s confession that she had previously fantasized an affair – not that she actually had one. The mere knowledge of her fantasy shook her husband (played by Tom Cruise) to the core and shattered his beliefs. As he struggles to accept the "humanity" in his own wife…and consequently in himself as well…he feels more and more tempted and drawn into the world of carnal desires and fantasy. And that world seems to darken the further he explores the feelings, fantasies and temptations that he hadn’t allowed himself to acknowledge before.

Tom Cruise was a surprising cast in a Kubrick film, as Cruise is more of a "mainstream Hollywood" actor. However, it actually worked out quite well for the film. In fact, maybe it was his having been in a movie such as this that caused Cruise to go off the deep end years later in reality, jumping on Oprah’s couch like an over-exuberant puppy dog piddling all over the house in excitement over the gift of a brand new rawhide bone.

Fargo     Writers: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen.     Director: Joel Coen.

3.5 Licks

1996

Rated R

William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi.

A man named Jerry (played by William H. Macy) is in financial difficulty, so he hires a few none-too-bright, low-life criminals to kidnap his wife and ask for ransom (which he figures her moneyed father will pay). Jerry’s plan is to split the money with the criminals and have his wife returned upon payment. Like any Coen brothers' movie, however, things do not go as planned…and that’s exactly what makes the Coen brothers’ films so fun to watch!

Fargo is another great movie in the Coen brothers collection! The Coens prove they know their Minnesotans, as the accents are both hilarious and accurate, even as – “ya, sure…you betcha!” – many a Minnesotan denies this vehemently.

As with any Coen brothers' film, you expect to see Frances McDormand playing a role, and in Fargo, her role as a pregnant police officer named Margie is top-notch! Buscemi is another Coen regular, playing his usual character type which he does so well once again here as one of the bumbling crooks. Although I expected another Coen repeat-offender, John Goodman, to be in the movie, I couldn’t find him anywhere. (He was probably out practicing for league bowling with “The Dude” Lebowski.)

Most memorable scene in Fargo? Well, let’s just say it involves a wood chipper and leave it at that. Steer clear of watching that for at least 30 minutes after you’ve eaten, or you might “pull a Margie,” and get to see your lunch a second time!

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

3 Licks

1998

Rated R

Johnny Depp, Benicio Del Toro, Ellen Barkin, Gary Busey, Tobey Maguire, Christina Ricci, Cameron Diaz, Mark Harmon, Katherine Helmond.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is yet another movie that showcases Johnny Depp’s versatility as an actor. It’s hard to believe the character he played (Raoul Duke, aka the Hunter S. Thompson character) was real or based on the real life of Hunter S. Thompson.

Of course, anyone familiar with Hunter S. Thompson knows he really was that messed up, doped up and really did live that loudly. The reality part, though, is questionable…that is, as far as alleging Hunter may have ever spent much time in it.

Given a choice between the daily grind of our lives OR a large supply of drugs and alcohol with a road-trip mission to find the “American dream,” we’d probably all want to wave goodbye to reality for awhile, too. However, for the more conservative of us, we watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas to see how psychedelic a “trip” it really could’ve been. And then we go back to the daily grind of our lives, legally tripping ever so slightly on the caffeine in our morning coffee or evening soda.

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, watch Fear and Loathing. But then again, so do those who probably have. If you’re into off-the-wall, bizarre tales and don’t mind a story involving psychedelic drug use, this is definitely one you’ll enjoy!

Memento 

4.5 Licks

2000

Rated R

Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano, Stephen Tobolowsky, Jorja Fox.

Memento has a unique approach in telling its main story…backwards. And in this way, you feel you’re learning the story right along with the lead character, Leonard (Pearce), who suffers an odd condition. A head injury that Leonard sustained at the time of his wife’s murder blocks his ability to formulate short-term memories.

In order to attempt to remember anything from that point forward, Leonard uses Polaroid snapshots, hastily scrawled notes and tattoos that he’ll struggle to make sense of the next morning. As Leonard searches for answers in hopes of finding his wife’s killer, new pieces of the puzzle (and his reality) are revealed that confuse us equally as much as Leonard.

Memento is intriguing, mesmerizing and original. It’s easy to enjoy this film and relate to the character, knowing you know just about as much as he does all throughout the film! This feeling of discovering things as he does brings you inside the story and captures you in a way most movies cannot. That combined with the WTF aspects of a story told backwards…make this a great "What the F…ilm" kind of movie!

Moulin Rouge (musical)

4 Licks

2001

Rated PG-13

Ewan McGregor, Nicole Kidman, John Leguizamo, Kylie Minogue, Jim Broadbent.

This could classify as a musical, but if so, it would still be a What the F…ilm (WTF) musical. Moulin Rouge is anything but your average musical.

Moulin Rouge has an overly colorful, exuberant backdrop with numerous characters just as colorful in nature, even though this is, in essence, "just" a tragic love story between a poet and a beautiful courtesan who’s also trying to hold off the advances of a rich duke/financier who wants her all to himself.

Hearing the premise of this movie that very first time, and knowing it was a musical, I had only two questions:

1. Ewan McGregor can sing?

2. Nicole Kidman can sing?

Even though musicals are not generally of interest to me, I watched this movie out of that curiosity alone. Unexpectedly, both McGregor and Kidman sang surprisingly well. In fact, I’d say they were definitely much better than Gwyneth Paltrow singing duets (in Duets) with Huey Lewis. That’s not to say they should give up acting to pursue singing careers, but hey, it’s safe to say they can probably sing better than many of us.

Moulin Rouge is a fun movie, with more lively songs than many a musical. If you’re not generally a fan of musicals, you’ll probably love this one, as it’s so completely different from any other movie or musical you’ve probably ever seen. Most of the songs are retooled, pimped-out versions or multiple songs interwoven together to fit the story and the characters. Seeing this movie once will not be enough. You'll like Moulin Rouge more each time you watch it!

Own this movie! Even the guys will want to see it more than once, and it’s okay to admit that! (This is not your mother’s or grandmother’s musical!)

Number 23, The 

3 Licks

2007

Rated R

Jim Carrey, Virginia Madsen, Danny Huston, Logan Lerman.

After his wife gives him a murder mystery novel that seems to conspire with the number 23, Walter (Carrey) begins to see too many similarities between the story and his own life. In fact, "23" seems to follow him in every aspect of his life.

The further Walter gets into the story, the more concerned he is about how this translates into his future…being that the main character in the book kills his own girlfriend. Walter worries his wife may suffer that same fate if he doesn’t find the author…and answers…soon!

The storyline is a cool concept and Jim Carrey proves once again that he can excel as an actor, even if the movie and role are not the comedic types he was known for early in his career.

Readers of "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson will find that The Number 23 fits in along well with those same conspiracy theory lines.

As for me, I’m going to be more careful around 23* from now on. You never know when the numbers might be out to get you! *gasp*

Earnote: Of course, the numbers under 18 may also spell trouble for some, so watch out for those!

Other Voices 

3 Licks

2000

Rated R

Mary McCormack, David Aaron Baker, Campbell Scott, Stockard Channing, Rob Morrow.

Other Voices is a popcorn or drama genre film, but I’m categorizing this as a "What the F…ilm" as it’s not at all what I expected upon first reading the synopsis for the movie.

This movie focuses on a couple’s troubled marriage where each suspects the other of marital infidelity, and where each discusses their suspicions with the other people (aka "other voices") closest to them. The wife’s Tourette’s Syndrome suffering brother gets involved in the drama and mystery, as does the husband’s  troubled, unstable, meddlesome friend who single-handedly exacerbates the problems with his own actions thereafter. "Other voices," as well become involved, making matters even more convoluted.

But alas, the alleged affairs may not be as suspected, and sometimes, it’s best to keep "other voices" out of one’s own relationships, troubles and suspicions. Campbell Scott is great as the meddlesome, well-intentioned but disturbed friend, and Rob Morrow as the Tourette’s suffering brother is casting that worked surprisingly well.

Other Voices is an entertaining film that isn’t the typical relationship movie you’d expect in a drama based on a couple’s marital problems and their own personal reviewing of what may have gone wrong along the way, as well as whether or not they can salvage their relationship.

What makes this movie work are the off-beat characters and unexpected plot twists. On the downside, however, there’s no feeling of closure, nor did it seem those responsible for the movie gave the ending the time, attention and focus it needed and deserved.

Earnote: Remember, pets and walls – unless you’re in an apartment with thin walls – don’t talk, so if you have relationship issues and woes, they might be the safer confidant than your friends and relatives!

Premonition 

3.5 Licks

2007

Rated PG-13

Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon, Nia Long, Kate Nelligan, Peter Stormare.

A discontented housewife and mother has a premonition of her husband’s death, though she has trouble coming to terms with the premonition and how to handle it…having thought initially it had already happened…until she awoke to find her husband still there with her, still alive.

The story jumps forward and backward in time (somewhat like Pulp Fiction). Premonition can be a bit confusing, as some little change here and there in the past affects the future you may have seen prior to that. The time shifts add to the mystery and the attraction of this story, even if you’re one prone to feel you know the ending in stories like this before you see it actually play out.

Even with the time shifts in the storyline, Premonition is a sequential story. It may not make sense but it does and it is. And whether you have a premonition as to the ending of the movie or not, you’ll still enjoy the plot twists and turns along the way.

In addition, you’ll be glad you’re not the one with a premonition. After all, sometimes our families and friends think we’re crazy enough without us giving them more reason to think or believe that! =p

Though not who I would usually expect in a role such as this, Sandra Bullock put in a solid performance as the discontented woman with an ominous premonition.

Prestige, The 

4.25 Licks

2006

Rated PG-13

Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Piper Perabo, Scarlett Johansson, David Bowie, Rebecca Hall.

The Prestige is the tale of a bitter life-long rivalry between two 19^th century magicians, both determined to be the best at any cost to them and those around them. Much like anyone consumed with greed, obsession and competition, for these magicians…it’s sometimes hard to know where to draw the line or when to stop if only to save yourself before you can’t be saved from yourself.

When one magician (Bale) performs the greatest trick or illusion yet, the other (Jackman) risks everything to figure out how it is done and how he can do it better.

Obsession, competition and a blind need for vengeance color the magicians’ views and corrupt their lives as this mystery thriller keeps you guessing until the last fifteen minutes or so of the movie.

If you watch closely enough, you may figure it out, but still a fun story to see play out as you’re not sure until the very end…just as it should be.

Jackman, Bale and Caine are remarkable in their roles! Hall and Johannsson leave much to be desired, but it’s clear they are only sideline characters to the real story, so it doesn’t detract too much from your overall enjoyment.

Romance & Cigarettes     Writer/Director: John Turturro.

1.5 Licks

2007

Rated R

James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet, Steve Buscemi, Christopher Walken.

Romance & Cigarettes is, in my opinion, a WTF movie…as in, What the F…ilm were they thinking when they made this? In this instance, this is not a compliment.

“Different” is not always a good thing, as this movie proves with its serious identity crisis. It’s uncertain of its own classification…whether to be a musical, comedy, drama, train-wreck……Thus, it’s mostly a train-wreck with music and a lot less comedy than it wants to think it has.

Some scenes in Romance & Cigarettes are fun; however, overall, the movie feels awkward, disjointed and disappointing. With the Coen brothers (Joel and Ethan) as two of the film’s producers, I expected much greater things of this movie. For once, they let me down.

The only actor standing out in this film is James Gandolfini, who does a great job with an interesting role. As for the other actors, actresses, writer/director…so much star power and potential for a great movie, but so much disappointment as I’m reminded once again that star power and potential does not guarantee automatic success.

Skip this in favor of your own romance. Cigarettes and smoker's breath optional. =p

Running with Scissors

0 Licks

2006

Rated R

Annette Bening, Alec Baldwin, Brian Cox, Joseph Fiennes, Joseph Cross, Jill Clayburgh, Gwyneth Paltrow, Evan Rachel Wood, Gabrielle Union.

Running with Scissors is a dark comedy that delivers plenty of darkness, but no real comedy, not even in the darkness. Any entertaining moments were all played out in the movie ads. As for the rest, just sit through a power outage for three days in zero degree weather and you’ll laugh about as much as you would if you watched the movie. (Not much.)

I classified this film as a "WTF" since I still wonder "why the film" they bothered making this movie.

Running with Scissors has dark comedic potential. It is about the child of an alcoholic father and a bipolar mother with delusions of her own future fame as a writer. Despite his wishes, the boy ends up in the care of his mother’s therapist – a therapist whose family probably needs more help than his patients. In fact, he needs more help than his patients; therefore, he should be paying them for the therapy!

Despite the potential of so much darkness to make light of, this film’s makers never do find the light switch. If you're really thinking of "running with scissors," just do it, rather than renting or buying the movie. (Just make sure you are familiar with the quickest route to the nearest emergency room before you attempt that run.)

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street     Director: Tim Burton

5 Licks

2007

Rated R

Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Sacha Baron Cohen, Timothy Spall.

(If I had a musical genre in my movie reviewing, this would classify as that. However, without it, I’m labeling this a WTF, as it is definitely a WTF of the musical genre anyway…and I mean that as the sincerest of compliments to the movie writers, director, cast, etc.)

Having been exiled for a crime which he didn’t commit, a man returns with vengeance on his mind upon finding out the fates of his beloved wife and daughter. With the aid…and encouragement…of the baker of the “worst pies in London,” a madman’s vengeance and blood lust spins out of control.

Mix together Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter…and it’s simply inconceivable that a movie with this combination could go wrong! Inconceivable! With this trio, you’re practically guaranteed a 5-lick movie…even on a 4-lick scale. In fact, if I could give this more than 5 licks on a 4-lick scale =p, I would!

Given the plot, you clearly wouldn’t expect the movie to be a musical, but it is…and, believe it or not, it works! And again, it’s the Burton, Depp and Carter trio that makes it work.

This isn’t your typical musical, thus it is definitely not for all fans of the musical genre. Sweeney Todd is a bloody vision with a definitively dark and disturbing tale to tell. That said, however, it’s dark, it’s disturbing…and yet, it’s soooo beautiful!

That may sound strange, but beauty is the awe I felt in watching just how director Tim Burton’s signature style and vision comes together...especially in such a seemingly bizarre story for a musical. One can’t help but admire Burton’s uniquely twisted ability to create such awe in otherwise dark, gloomy tales.

Sweeney Todd is a disturbing yet “beautiful” masterpiece as only director Tim Burton can pull off with seemingly effortless ease! Depp, who’s always enjoyable to watch in his roles, is perfect as the madman! As for Carter, this role is as perfect for her as the role of the rather odd, messed-up Marla in Fight Club. In fact, her role in Sweeney Todd makes me think I need to watch Fight Club again, too!

Thirst, The 

3 Licks

2006

Not Rated

Matt Keeslar, Clare Kramer, Jeremy Sisto.

At first, I wasn’t sure what I thought of this movie...despite the poor acting. Did I like it? Did I not? It was just too strange to comprehend exactly what I thought, until it was apparent --- yes, indeed, The Thirst is a movie that makes you often wonder to yourself “what the f…ilm (WTF)” as you watch it. Half of the fun of this movie is that confusion and wonder. (Thus, this review is under the WTF category rather than careening coaster/horror genre).

If you have a strange addiction to vampire movies of all kinds and are warped like me, you’ll likely enjoy this bizarre film about a woman dying of cancer who – unbeknownst to her boyfriend – decides to embrace life as a vampire rather than accept the imminent death sentence her cancer is. The cancer-stricken and depressed woman stages a suicide, making her boyfriend think she is dead, but only weeks or months later will he discover that she is still alive, or so he thinks. Not wanting to be apart from her ever again and glad that she’s alive…or rather, undead…he chooses to become a vampire as well.

From there, the movie gets even more bizarre. The characters and vampire “family” to which the two now belong seem greatly odd, quirky, disturbed and deranged, but...WTF…it’s a vampire movie, not to mention the lead characters were strange to begin with! Just go with it!

Unknown

4 Licks

2006

Not Rated

Greg Kinnear, James Caviezel, Joe Pantoliano, Jeremy Sisto, Barry Pepper, Bridget Moynahan, Peter Stormare.

Five men are locked up together in a dingy warehouse with no recollection of who they are, how they got there or why they’re there in the first place. None know which are the good guys and which are the bad. They’re not even sure which side they themselves are on. Thus, they’re all suspicious and untrusting.

From the moment the movie begins, you’re drawn into the story; wanting to unravel the mystery yourself before the story is fully played out. The entire first half of the movie has you thinking “WTF?!” Then, you start to figure it out…or you think you do until you realize…you really may not know what you think you might. Everyone looks suspicious enough to be guilty and yet unknown enough to be presumed potentially innocent.

Unknown is an excellent film and story, with plenty of plot twists designed to keep you guessing throughout the movie! And after all that suspicion in the movie, you might even start to wonder about yourself in reality!

Unknown is a must-see, especially for those who love attempting to unravel mysteries before everyone else.